The following is a poem written by Lou Miller, mummy of Amy. I read Amy's story on SANDS and could relate to the pain and grief felt by her parents. Lou had problems during labour that went undetected and as a result Amy's brain was starved of oxegyn, leaving her very ill. Amy died a month later leaving her mummy and daddy to live that 'new kind of normal' that so many of us now know so well.

I hope Amy and Bailey are now good friends in heaven and I know that they look out for us. Always!

Dear Mum

When the light went from my life

You were submerged in darkness and pain

Simple tasks are impossible to do

You wonder if it’s ever worth breathing again.

But be strong for me

Don’t be consumed

By the anger, guilt, and loss.

Cherish the life that you still have

And know that I love you lots

Difficult decisions you had to make

But the outcome was already clear

Selfish sustinence of my life Would not benefit me here

Even though you did everything right

To protect your unborn child

The moment life started,

Things went wrong

I’d been waiting to meet you

For far too long

Yet you kill yourself with “what ifs”

Maybe I could have been the one

Who’d miraculously survive

Despite the damage done

A life of care and no awareness

Is not much life at all

No words,

No thought,

Survive not live

Is what you saved me from

So remember now Mummy,

When you’re crying out your heart

There was no chance that I could stay

From the moment my life did start

Don’t worry Mummy, I know your heart is true,

That you loved me deeply,

Just as I love you.

When you are feeling desolate

For the life that has been lost

Remember I’m here waiting for you

When it’s time our paths will cross

Have no fear about me now

For I am cured and safe from harm

Even though it’s in your arms I long to be

I am happy and waiting here for thee

And if the time comes

And you are blessed

With another child in your life.

Feel free to love them as you would’ve done

If I’d been there by your side.

I won’t feel betrayed, forgotten, replaced

As long as I’m remembered

‘Cause in your heart there’s lots of space

For many family members

So speak my name and talk of me,

in polite company

And when people ask “How many?”

Add one on for me

For ‘though I’m lost, I’m always yours

And you are still my Mum

And this love is felt between us,

Even though I am now gone

Live your life as best you can

And have no fear or guilt.

Try to live the dreams you have

and grab hold of the life you’ve built.

Remember me often,

But don’t let me rule your world

I know you gave your all for me,

And would change things if you could.

I am not gone forever,

In time we will re-unite.

But for now I’ll settle for watching you sleep

And kissing your head goodnight.