Back to work
posted on 09/19/2007
Everyone here at work has been very supportive. My manager was so protective of me that he suggested that since he won't be in Monday and Tuesday, I can telecommute those days.
As soon as I got in to work, I went directly to his office. We had lunch and then when we got back to the office, we went to our "big" boss (his manager). (It felt like my first day at school and mom went with me to my classroom and meet my teacher and classmates.)
She was very supportive as well. They all expressed that they are glad/happy to see me again. And that they were all shocked and saddened at what happened.
I feel really blessed and thankful to have the family (including my work "family") and friends that I have. Everyone has been so giving and so willing to give to show their support and to show they care (may it be their time, their shoulder to cry on, their ears to listen).
Comments (0)09/18/2007
Hello Bri, I'm thinking of you today. I'm looking at your picture, wishing that I was given more time to hold you, more time to touch your hair, to feel your soft skin, to kiss your chubby cheeks.
I love you my baby.
Comments (0)God is good!
posted on 09/14/2007
When you think things are not looking good, He always manages to let you know He loves you, He's there for you.
Praise God for His blessings! (more please
)
Comments (0)Back To Reality (?)
posted on 09/12/2007
I have been in contact with people at work today. It's official, I'm going back to work on Monday. My manager is very supportive.
Don't know whatelse to say. I wish it is back to reality, and what happened in the past 6 weeks was just a dream. But it is not. My baby's an angel now. I'm older but hopefully wiser.
Life goes on - at least our lives, my baby has a different life now - and I'm glad to acknowledge that it is a happy, peaceful, and pain-free "life". Mommy and Daddy will see Briar again someday, but we will always remember him and will always love him.
Comments (0)Thank God for family and friends
posted on 09/10/2007
As I always include in my prayers, thank God for my family. I am very blessed to be born in this family - not just the immediate but the clan. And I am also thankful for the new family I am now a member of since I got married. Everyone has been very supportive.
I am also thankful for friends, they sent cards, sent emails, called, and sent text messages to let us know that they are praying for us, thinking about us, and to let us know that if we need anything we can call on them. My friend, Brenda (Bring), sends me a text message almost everyday to let me know she's there, and to ask how I'm doing.
I am so blessed to have loving family and friends.
Comments (0)The List
posted on 09/05/2007
I am currently "lurking" at SilentGrief.com (have not posted anything yet), and one of the women there posted a list of "DON'TS" that she wishes she could have passed along. It's funny, but a lot of it I wish I could pass along too. (I took her complete post, don't know if it's ethical though.)
Girls,
As I was cleaning up today I started to think about all of the outrageous things people have said or done since my loss. I started to mentally compile a list of "Don'ts" I wish I could have passed along. 
***I apologize in advance if my sarcastic points offend anyone. I tend to use my smart alec sense of humor to make me smile. I'll take what I can get these days....
Here are a few points:
*Don't "stop by" unannounced. Give a call at least 15 minutes in advance so the Newly Bereaved Mother (NBM) has an opportunity to eat some toothpaste and pick up the shredded condolence cards off the floor.
*Don't ask a NBM how she's doing unless you really want to know the answer.
*When speaking with a NBM, do not be afraid to use the baby's name whenever possible. The NBM will appreciate your thoughtfulness. However, refrain from using a nickname unless it had been approved prior to the loss. Only the parents can truly know the personality of the baby to give him/her a proper nickname.
*When cleaning the house of a NBM, DO NOT use strongly scented detergents/cleaners. Although she will appreciate the gesture, her olfactory senses are still running high. Instead, after thoroughly cleaning, open the house up to the breeze. The fresh air will become a precious commodity in the hard days to come.
*When trying to empathize with a NBM, don't say "I know just how you feel" unless you truly do. Compairing the loss of your cat Fluffy is really no compairison.
*If the NBM has the responsibility of preparing dinner for other people in the house, realize that cereal is just fine. So are any other foods that are not typically served for dinner. A few nights of Cheetos or Tater-tots won't hurt anybody.
*Do not ask a NBM to babysit your infant within 6 months of her loss. It doesn't matter how 'close' you are with her...Simply stated: totally uncool. 
*Don't take offense to your NBM forgetting any standing appointments she may have had with you or anyone else. Likewise, expect sudden emotional outbursts or breakdowns while in an elevator or any other seemingly neutral place.
*Don't tell the NBM that her baby is in a better place. No matter how religious she may be, there is no better place than her arms or at her breast for her baby to be.
*Don't overload the NBM with details of your sadness over the loss of the baby. The last thing she needs to be doing is consoling someone else.
*When visiting the home of a NBM, make sure you tread lightly and take your shoes off upon entering. There are bound to be "eggshells" everywhere.
Although it is common for people to slowly stop observing these suggestions after a period of a couple of months following the loss, not following them may have an effect that will last a lifetime.
I would like to add to that :
* Don't use the word "dead" when referring to the baby and to what happened. Although, we all know that that word is correct in a sense, it is still painful for a NBM to hear that word - "has passed" or "loss" is much better word to use.
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