We all are affected by what's going on in our economy - actually, may it be good or bad, we are affected.  If the economy is good, our place of employment gets more business, thus, they profit, and oftentimes they share that profit through bonuses/incentives, etc.  If the economy is not doing well, a lot of people are saving their money for more important things, thus the company one is in, is not doing so well - no more bonuses, no more parties, no raise, and at times they lay off workers.

Money, sounds like, is important to live this life, but it shouldn't be.

I have observed that the more money you have the bigger debt or liability you have.  Because for a lot of people, knowing that they have a bigger income means they can afford a bigger house, a better and bigger car, a boat, branded and more expensive clothing and accessories, and so on.  Then, that means a mortgage, auto loan, boat loan, and credit card charges to buy those expensive clothing.  I agree, it's better to have your own place to live in, but the other things, not so very important at all. 

Sometimes, I think, well, then what do you do with your money, you can't take that with you when you die.  That's right, you can not, but that doesn't mean you have to live like a king, a one day millionaire, live a lifestyle you can not afford.  Once can live comfortably without the burden of paying for a new car (loan) when you already paid off your previous car - which is still in good condition and still working (albiet, not the latest style).

Is it bad to aim to be wealthy?  I don't think so.  This just mean that you'll be able to have longer rest (meaning you don't have to work 20 hours a day or even 16 hours a day to afford a roof over your head and food on your table), and you'll have the opportunity to see more, and experience more... but even when you are "wealthy", live below your means.  Save something for emergency, for when you really need it.

What is important in life then?  Family (family's love and support and care), health, peace of mind, friends, and of course God - faith in God (who carry us and comforts when times are difficult, who are there with us in good times and bad).

If I didn't have a missed miscarriage July 2008, I would be holding my baby now...

But I shouldn't dwell on it...

In God's time, and according to His plan... (and all that...)

Been busy so I haven't posted in a while. There is "family" issue (my side of the family) that's been bugging our "clan".

I always mentioned how blessed I feel to have my family and extended family, but well, I don't know of a family without a black sheep/bad apple or whatever you want to call it, in our case, it's not just one person, but almost a family save for the father (whom now the children have influenced, so I guess he's not an exception anymore) and the oldest son.

I have always read and heard of greedy, vile people, but never have I imagine that it will be one from - sad to say - a blood relative. I'd like to say they got it from the other side of the family, their mother, which is very true.

Since we were little, I have known that these cousins were not being raised with the values that we got from our grandfather and grandmother. Their mother has taught them envy, hate, and the "art of lying". They have made themselves the victims, they set themselves apart from the clan, yet complain that they are being secluded, that they feel they are not part of the family - (well, DUH, of course not, you kept your distance).

A while back, I mentioned that they are very lucky in that aunts, uncles and other cousins support them - have helped with the education of the four of them (two graduated; the other two, well, their priorities were different -party, night out, boys, etc, suffice to say they never finished college). Aside from education, whenever they need money, they just call one of their dad's siblings they'll be given some. And yet, one of those cousins would say that since they were born they never have experienced good life.  Good life? I say, that's cushy.  They just want hand outs.

The thing is, they take for granted those "assistance" that was given to them.  Their mother tell them that is their right, that it's an entitlement - they are entitled to such.

A lot of clan members have helped them get jobs and yet their mother and even them, would say that it was their effort, thus, not acknowledging the help given to them.

They can't keep jobs because they are not used to hard work.  They'd rather boast how rich they are, which is untrue, than strive to really become a family of means.  The two female cousins are social climbers, liars, and filled with envy.  They have such high regard for themselves that they are constantly disappointed in their life. 

I have never... hated (for lack of better word) anybody like I do them.  I would like to shake them, and slap them so they wake up and see how lucky they are.  But it's ingrained in them, and I don't think they would realize that.

I hate that they are not doing things for themselves, and they blame their circumstance to other people.  If at all, my cousins should blame their parents for not providing for them - for not guiding them when they were growing up so they would do better when they are older.  What did they learn?  Again, envy mostly.  And then hating other cousins/relatives who are in a better circumstance than theirs.

Well, there might be no sense in this post, I'm just venting.   I just couldn't understand (rhetorically) why people complain that they are poor and in the dumps when they are not doing anything to help themselves.   I don't mind helping those who help themselves, but I don't want to waste my time helping those who only want handouts.  "Give someone a fish, you feed them for a day, but if you teach them to fish, you feed them for life".

I was at work when I saw a story on the internet (yeah I know, company time, etc...) and decidedly to read it.  The link already said "sad story"  but I still read it.  It's a story of a woman who regretted her abortion, and it mentioned there what happened at the time she's having an abortion.

It breaks my heart that there are those women who would kill their baby.  I don't hate those women, I know one who regrets that she has done it 15 - 17 yrs ago - and now they couldn't conceive, and she's nearing the age when she really can't have a baby anymore.  As I said I don't hate them, but I'm really really sad for the innocent life.  God! I can't even imagine how the baby feels.... it makes me recall how Briar might have fought for his life , but I hope he still feels secure that I am with him and I'm hoping his angels are there to guide him.

Well, I got to end this train of thought, it's breaking my heart.

TO ALL MOMs out there, give your child a hug, they never asked to be born, they are miracles from God.

We welcomed the new year in San Francisco.  We were there for one night only, and had dinner at around 6:30PM at Alioto's in Fisherman's Wharf, it's a well-known fine dining Italian restaurant.

We were surprised when we saw the bill - nope, not the price of our dinner, we expected it will be a little steep, we were surprised to see HEALTH TAX there.  When asked, the waiter said that this is to fund the politician's pet project - to provide healthcare to those who can not afford it, only in San Francisco.  (That's on top of the usual tax of 8.??% of the bill) So for those who are thinking about moving and can not afford healthcare, there you go, head out to San Francisco.  To those of you thinking about visiting the city, make sure you save a lot before you go, because the hotels will charge you $39 for parking and a Parking Guest Tax (it could be a percentage of something, but we were billed $5.46 for that), also there is an Occupancy Tax ($16.66 for our one night stay there) and CA Tourism Tax for $0.08.  OR you can get a hotel OUTSIDE San Francisco and drive in to the city to do your usual touristy thing.

It will be a long long time, if at all, that we will be spending a night there.  If ever we go to take my cousin and niece, it will be a day trip and for sure we will be taking food and beverage with us.

I forgot to say, the firework was ok.  I can't rate it as we were at the wharf when the fireworks started - probably about 2 miles away?  AND it was very foggy, so from our vantage point, we can only see part of it.  The bottom was hidden by the buildings, the upper part by the fog.  It was good nevertheless because we spent it with each other.

Happy new year to us!  Hope this new year is filled with good things, and hopefully with new life.

2008 RECAP

I've been thinking about posting this.  There was so much I wanted to write down, I should have done it then, hopefully I still remember what those thoughts were.

The year had been filled with losses; lost my Nana in April, we also lost "our" pet puppy around the same time.  In July, we lost another baby/pregnancy.  And then, this December, Keith's grandmother passed away.  The first half of that year was hard, I was still recovering from losing Briar and I think I was still having the "baby blues" (except of course without the baby).  It was a good thing that we went to visit Keith's family in June and I went to visit my family in August.  It did me good.

Even with all this, I am thankful for so many things and I acknowledge our blessings.  I feel blessed to have the kind of family that I have and I feel blessed to be a member of Keith's family.  And of course, I am blessed to be with Keith.  They are all loving, giving, supportive, God-fearing, and in general, good people.

I am also thankful for the kind of friends that I have, and thankful to be working with the people I work with right now.  Though life is tough, the journey is somewhat easier.  You deal with the problems, but you're not stressed out by trying to deal with people.

To be continued....

Merry Christmas to you all, family and friends!

To my friends who also has lost a child (or two or more), may God be especially with you this Christmas.  May you feel the presence of the child or children who have gone before you this Christmas celebrating the birth of Christ with you.

To everyone, bring Christ in your Christmas celebration.  May His Spirit be with you all.

... and no, it's not Happy Holidays, but a MERRY CHRISTMAS to you all!

God bless you.

Most people's New Year's resolution is to exercise and diet to lose weight.

But this is not a NY's resolution, I need to exercise more because I would like to lose 10 lbs in 1month.  Is that healthy?  I'm getting tired of how my "clothes look" (LOL! yes, it's the clothes, it's not me ).  So I would like to lose this weight so I can wear my old clothes.

I've been watching The Biggest Loser, and it's amazing how they can lose 10 lbs in 10 days (or is it one week?).  It's inspiring.  I've read, that they exercise/workout 3 hours/day - since of course they are secluded in a ranch and they don't do anything but exercise, eat and rest daily for 10 days. 

I've been slacking lately - after the miscarriage, I'm afraid to do anything that will potentially "harm" my uterus and lessen my chances of conceiving or increase probability of miscarriage.  Well, when I say "I'm afraid", it's more of, because I've been told by a lot of people to 1) take it easy and don't do strenuous exercises; 2) not carry/lift heavy things; and more.

Anyhoo, maybe losing weight will help with the blood pressure issue I've been imagining.  I still get acid reflux attacks.  And it scares me because my chest fills up with gas, and it makes me think I have heart problems.  And in turn, makes my blood pressure go up a little... to prehypertension and borderline hypertension.  (Keith said I'm hypochondriac (?))  So  with losing weight, my stomach will probably be "happier", and I know that continued exercise will be good for my blood pressure.

With all that said, my point is, I need to exercise so I can lose 10 lbs. in 1 month.  Maybe writing it down will make me live up to what I want to do.