Quick Facts As of 01/18/2009:
Weight: 24 lbs.
Height:
Can you believe I'm so big!! I'm no longer in the 97th percentile, now I'm just above average for my weight and height.
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07/16/2007
For the first time in a while I find myself overwhelmed with missing my sweet Jonathan. He is missed so much and I've gotten pretty good at recognizing when I'm thinking of him and that I miss him but just a little whie ago it caught me by surprise. I miss his little feet, the smell of his skin, the way he would try to look at me when I talked to him. I miss my son. The pain lets me know that I've not hardened over but it's just so hard. I am trying not to think of all the things I'll miss with him and that I'll never have all of my children around the dinner table. There will always be someone missing from Christmas morning. I'll never get to see him hug his sister... I'll never get to hug them both at the same time.
I just keep trying to focus on Abigail so much that I feel like I've been neglecting his memory. I just want to hold him again, to feel him breathing, to hold his tiny hand. I miss my son... I always will... nothing will make that go away... this is my life, without him.... a little piece of me will always be missing and always be hurting...
Balancing the joy and the pain is harder the further along we get.... how do I tell my little girl why mommy is crying? how do I explain to her that mommy will always hurt a little? how do I tell her that with every milestone she hits a little part of me is in pain because of the other baby that will not ever do those things? how do we survive this pregnancy, together, until we all come home together? how do I show her that I love her and her brother, differently yet the same? how do i tell him that i love him just as much as his sister, even though i get to spend more time with her? how can I think about bringing her home when I don't know that I ever will? Can I survive that? Would I want to? what made me think I could do this again?
I'm sorry to rain on your parade but I needed to get this out... somewhere.... this is the closest to screaming I could find..... I'll be okay... just have to purge... and let you know that as much as I love being pregnant and this little girl.... this is one of the hardest things i've ever done in my life.... but i prayed for this and God gave me what I wanted... I pray that it is what He wanted....
“I prayed for this child and the Lord answered my prayers and gave her to me. Now, I dedicate her to the Lord. She will belong to the Lord all her life.” -Samuel 1:27-28
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07/16/2007
Friday Aunt Sloane and Uncle Robert got the call that their baby boy had been born. The family went home on Sunday and are adjusting well to eachother. Happy Birthday Matthew! 6lb 11oz 19in long born at 7:34am
We had a nice weekend. Mommy and Daddy took me to Aunt Theresa's for the Steinmetz annual summer party. It was really nice to hear all of the voices. Mommy liked watching Daddy play volleyball. The food was yummy and drinks (alcohol free of course) were great. Sunday was filled with church, naps, and internet surfing. Daddy wanted to have a "Do Nothing" day-- which he hasn't done in years.... Mommy was a bit bored but she couldn't d anything because then Daddy wouldn't relax. Ah well... enjoy it now Mom and Dad... it won't last for much longer.
I have a doctor's appointment on Monday, more pictures! Grandma Sears is going to go with Mommy and me, it will be fun. Mommy might get her haircut too because she will be starting her new job on the 6th and she's not sure when she'll get a chance to have it done again.
The Freuden Fest is this weekend--- Mommy and I are looking forward to the corn on the cob!
Well... that's about all that's going on....
I love you! Abigail
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07/10/2007
Mommy has been busy lately. She has lots of energy right now and is trying to use it up while she can. My nursery is nearly finished. Mommy and Daddy want to add some accents, the safari animals, a few more pieces of art, and of course my crib. The grandparents are going in together to buy my crib, I am really excited about that-- it's like they will be with me when I sleep. My cousins helped refinish my dresser, thanks Josh, Jacob and Lauren. Mommy repainted the walls, put up a border, and put in a ceiling fan (Daddy helped put the blades on). Daddy has been working tons lately. I think he might be worried about the price of diapers:) He says he will slow down once he can hold me. I hope so-- I don't want him to miss me when I'm tiny. Mommy was baptized Sunday at Batesville Christian Church. It is something she has had on her To-Do list for quite some time now and she feels incredibly blessed to have found a place where she felt welcomed and comfortable enough to take the plunge. The grandmas, grandpas, great-granparents, Aunts Natalie and Melanie and Aunt Sloane came to witness and enjoy some time with us afterwards, it was really great to hear all the buzz of talking and the yummy food from Grandpa Chris's garden (Mommy ate 6 ears of corn-- 12 halves..... and when she had ice cream later all she could think about was more corn on the cob!) I am looking forward to hearing Aunt Angela's voice on Friday. It will be late I know but that is when I am most awake! Aunt Sloane is going to be a mommy very soon. She is adopting a little baby boy that is due on Saturday! I pray for a safe and happy delivery and adoption. Mommy just found out her NICU friend, my brother's friend Hannah's mommy, is expecting a little boy due in November! We are so happy for the entire Rieger family and pray for a healthy and uneventful pregnancy.
Check it out-- you can leave me comments now!! Let me know how you are doing.
I love you all--- Abigail
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06/29/2007
Mommy and I went to see Dr. Abernathy and Lori today. Great-Grandpa John and Daddy were with us-- they have a different kind of enthusiasm than my other ultrasound buddies (aunts, grandmas, friends)-- Daddy actually took a quick nap during the visit :( but he better enjoy his sleep now because it won't last much longer :)
I'm growing really well-- I'm bigger than my brother Jonathan now. He was 1lb 1oz, I passed him up by 1 oz this week. So if you wonder what I look like inside mommy's belly take a look at some pictures of my brother and you'll get a really good idea (see my photos). Can you believe that I'm more than half baked?? I'm getting stronger too, just the past couple of days mommy could feel me kick with her hand--- beore you try to see if I'm moving, please give mama a warning :) and make sure you're hands are clean--- mommy and I need to avoid getting sick....
Mommy is doing pretty well-- she gets a pretty bad migraine a couple of times a week, but is learning how to cope with them. Dr. Abernathy did mention that at the end of July she may consider putting me and mommy on bed rest :( Mommy will do what it takes but would rather be able to keep moving so she's gotta make sure she doesn't over do it now. Dr. A and Lori also checked Mommy's cervix, it's getting a little shorter so we'll keep an eye on it (not literally) but we're not going to worry about that now--- just take it easy... because it's still 3 in (or cm--- I'm not sure how they measure that).
Mommy and Daddy's 3 year anniversary was Tuesday. They didn't really do anything so they are going to do all the things they enjoyed doing before they went to college (Firemen's Festival, star gazing from the back of the truck, test drive random cars they don't even want to buy, rent a movie, etc.) They know they had better do it all now because next year we'll be celebrating their anniversary with a stroller and diaper bag.
Saturday Daddy got his first tattoo--- Jonathan's footprints and name on his left shoulder... next time you see him you'll have to ask if you can see it. Mommy will get a picture up as soon as she can get Daddy to sit still long enough in good lighting. It looks realy great-- you can see the little wrinkles in my brother's feet and everything. Gramma Kim gave the tattoo to Daddy for his birthday and Father's day--- it was really nice of her. Thanks Gramma!
Last week was Uncle Justin's birthday... Happy belated birthday. We all went over to his house for a grill out, it was really nice (and very yummmy chocolate chip cookies)... thank you!
Well... mommy needs to get to sleep.... we send our love and hugs to everyone!
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06/21/2007
I took my first trip this week. I went with Mommy, Daddy, and Uncle Tubby to drop Aunt Angela off in Kansas City. The trip was fun, I played with the seat belt nearly the entire time! Aunt Angela made sure Mommy and I got out and walked pretty often, so Mommy's legs on ly got swollen once. The visit while we were there was nice. I had some really good KC BBQ and a chocolate chip cookie at the Cabela's store.
I am going to miss hearing Aunt Angela's voice though... she is so far away now... I suppose I'll have to get used to using the phone :)
Mommy has an appointment with Dr. Mehta tomorrow. He is our hematologist. We are going to ask him about the tingling in Mommy's legs and arms as well as ask him when or if we should switch to a different blood thinner.
I would like to say a couple of Happy Birthdays and Congratulations to my fellow baby buddies: Ciarra went home from the NICU this week Thalia went home from the NICU on the 6th Harrison was born on the 19th
Mommy is off to take a nap--- she's gettin' while she can :) I love you and will meet you all in a few short months......
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06/15/2007
Mommy and Aunt Theresa went to the doctor this week to check up on me. I'm 3 days ahead of schedule and developing well. My heart has 4 chambers now, and they are all just pumping and beating, pumping and beating. I have fingers, toes, nose, eyes (lenses in them too), and I'm starting to pack on the ounces. We got an official delivery date range, October 15-29th, mommy is hoping for middle October (closer to the 15th), she's just so excited to meet me. I'm kicking much more often and while daddy hasn't felt me kick yet he probably will soon-- if he has the patience to keep a hand on mommy's tummy long enough. During the ultrsound I had my hands up by my head as usual but this time everyone could see me talking! Okay, so I may have been drinking some amniotic fluid but I kept opening and closing my mouth like I was trying to get in on the conversation. Monday I'm taking my first roadtrip. I'm heading out with Mommy and Aunt Angela to Kansas for a couple of days. Dr. A wants mommy to take lots of breaks and gave her the name of a really good doctor in Kansas City if something happens. I'm really looking forward to the BBQ! So--- Mommy and Daddy are pretty sure they have decided on my first name (the middle is still tripping them up a little) but you can start calling me ABIGAIL if you like.... I don't really respond to any name yet but it may be good practice. :) I love you all and am looking forward to meeting you in just a few short months-- I should be here just before mommy's cousin Greg gets back from Iraq... October is going to be such a wonderful and memorable month!
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06/07/2007
| Baby Names.... | Okay.. so I'll lay it all out there... we, and by we I mean I, love thinking about baby names, initials, spellings, and of course possible teasing scenarios. It does make a new mom, okay me, a bit nervous because I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings if we don't name our daughter something you suggest, so if we don't name her Bailey, please don't be offended. It is a lovely name but my sister named her cat Bailey first and everytime I would look at her I would think of cat pee, not that the cat isn't cute and all but you know....
I saw Jeff's grandma today and she said she love Marie, as far as I'm concerned the 90 year old woman can call my daughter "Baby"... she's lived through the depression, she deserves it... but that doesn't mean Marie will end up on Pumpkin's birth certificate (neither will Pumpkin for that matter).
I talked with Gram (my grandma on dad's side) yesterday (may be it was Tuesday) and she expressed support for Olivia, a beautiful name. One of my best friends named her daughter Alyvia (Olivia with a different spelling.. her name is Aimee, so unusual spellings is their thing) I love the spelling.... keep that in mind when you get to the end-- that is if you get that far. Again, at 75 years old Gram shovels snow off the roof of her house in a NY winter.... she gets same rights as Gert... call her whatever you like Gram... it just probably won't end up on Pumpkin's birth certificate.
** I hope this is coming across as funny... not mean.. hormones are making it a bit more difficult for me to judge..... but this is totally meant to be FUN.... like I said I really like thinking about names **
When we were pregnant with Jonathan, we had a girl's name all lined up... one that we both still love but have run into another snag in the line.... Madeline, we weren't sure how we would spell it and once we found out we were having a boy we didn't have to worry about it any more (I tried but Jeff said 1 baby at a time.... he sure is relieved that we haven't been blessed with twins, yet-- they do run in both our families.... I think twins would be so much fun though.... may be next time... don't tell Jeff :)) Sorry for the tangent... so Madeline.. love the name. Our niece, on Jeff's side, was almost Madeline, she's Lauren. But Jeff's sister loves the name Madeline so much that they recently named their yellow lab, guess what.... Madeline (they call her Maddie for short).... so Madeline is out....right?? (see below)
In talking with some people I have found that there are very strong feelings about whether or not to shorten a given name... for instance... Maddie for Madeline, or Liz, Eli, Beth, Betty, Lizzie, etc. for Elizabeth. I however don't mind calling a little girl home from the pool by Liz, when her name is Elizabeth, I think is just fine... she can still put Elizabeth on her resume.
I suppose I just don't have any ill feelings against nicknames.. unless they have a negative connotation. My father-in-law... he is a nice man but has a rather twisted sense of humor... calls our nephew thunder thighs and/or shit-for-brains... They have a "special" bond they say but I can't see that being good for a child's psyche... so call Pumpkin what you like... as long as it doesn't give her a complex... I have already started negotiations with Jeff and his dad, special bond or not ;)
Okay.... so this message is really long.. and it is nearly midnight but I've got all this energy and need to put it somewhere.....
So keep the name suggestions coming... I love to hear them... and because you have read this far I'll share our short list... which is subject to change, of course. In fact I've added 1 to it in the last 10 minutes...
Abigail
Elizabeth
Grace
Madeline (the dog might run away by October, right???)
Sophia
Alexandra
Michaela
Agnes (** probably not but its a family name on my mom's and jeff's mom's side)
We tend to like more "traditional" names with "traditional" spellings... but that doesn't mean we won't consider anything else. Jeff tends to not like anything, he's picky, and has no reasons for not liking something (I prefer feedback).. he'll hear a name
and say "Yes" or "No"... most, okay half, of the names on my short list he has already shot down... but I've got 4 months to convince him, right?? Just kidding....
Well--- I think I'll try to get to sleep (may be... Pumpkin's wide awake and practicing for the Olympic trials :) It is really nice to feel her moving around--- that way I know she's still okay.... I try to update the website every week... new development info, polls, etc... I want to journal a bit more often but it's kinda hard to talk that much (like I didn't just ramble on here for an hour and a half) ;)
I love you all... Keep the name suggestions coming.....
Kristin & Pumpkin
~ did you feel that?? she just kicked..... |
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06/01/2007
Mommy had a hadache. Her headache started earlier this week and Thursday evening Daddy convinced her to go to the hospital to get checked out. So off we went to Margaret Mary Hospital in Batesville. Kristy was our nurse. She tried to catch me with the doppler to listen to my heart beat but I wouldn't sit still. So while the doctor gave mommy some morphine and something for nausea they called in the ultrasund tech and scheduled a head CT ( I was covered by 4 lead vests for safety). Dr. Welsh wanted to be sure mommy hadn't blown a clot or developed a leak in her melon, as daddy would say. So we I had more pictures taken, I was wiggling around again but the tech got some good ones though. I have also gained 2 ounces since last week-- good progress huh? Dr. Welsh let us go home but he said to follow up with Dr. Abernathy Friday. So Barb from Dr. A's office called us at 7:14 am and told us to come in as soon as we can. So, mommy, daddy and I hopped into the car and off we went to Clarian North. Mommy went straight back to see Dr. A and Dr. A sent her straight over to Labor and Delivery for observation until we could be seen by the Neurologist, Dr. B. The nurses gave mommy something for her headache and started an IV. By 5:30 Dr. B came by and ordered an MRI. So late in the evening Friday, mommy went down for her MRI. When we came back one of the nurses suggested drinking something with caffeine in it-- and wouldn't you know a little coke really calmed mommy's head. So now we are waiting to see the neurologist again so that we can go home. Daddy isn't being very patient and is snapping at mommy and complaining. But what are we supposed to do--- we can't leave until Dr. B clears us to go home. So much for being home by noon yesterday, or 5:30 yesterday, or 9 this morning--- Dr. B takes his sweet time. All in all-- we know mommy has a brain, it is working, not bleeding; I'm getting bigger by the hour and love to swim around and make the nurses chase me; daddy isn't patient when he has to wait, especially on a Saturday. Mommy will post my new pictures when we get home.
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