Bennett Mitchell Speck

JOURNAL

Day Five - Entry #3 (from Kelly)
posted on 08/24/2007

There are really no words to begin thanking all of you for your words of love, encouragement, strength, and comfort; so I will start off by saying THANK YOU and let you know that the support we are receiving is what is literally carrying us right now.....I don't exactly know how we would physically be walking without it, so thank you from the bottom of our hearts.

This week has been a whirlwind and there have definitely been times of tears, fear, and over-whelmedness, but it is also unreal how a spirit of peace and comfort has filled us and sustained us; for that reason I praise God and thank Him for pouring on us his mercy, strength and comfort as a result of the many prayers lifted up on Bennett and our family's behalf.

Bennett is beautiful- when I look at him I just can't stop thank God for this precious baby boy.  His sweet, calm spirit was evident every day of our pregnancy, and that has only continued since he entered the world on Monday morning.  When he was inside of me, people would ask me "are your ribs sore from his kicks and jabs?" and I would honestly answer "actually no- I feel the normal little punches and kicks from him, but I guess he's taking it easy on me."  As he now lies in his NICU bed, I see him lying there with his same sweet, calm spirit, and I thank God for giving him the strength, temperment, and ability to fight this infection, which willl no doubt be a long journey.  I love to quietly speak and pray right into his ear, watch his eyelids move, watch him blow a bubble from his mouth, and/or then watch him give us a little foot kick or hand movement to let us know he's fighting for us, but saving the majority of his energy for the journey ahead.  He is no doubt very special and has already won our hearts..... we will never be the same after meeting our angel boy.

For those of you who know Travis, you know what a special man he is, but I want to let you know what an incredible rock he has been for Bennett and myself this week.  When I was lying in the recovery room right after the c-section, it was Travis who jumped in our car all alone and followed the ambulance with its lights flashing, carrying our son to Georgetown hospital.  He did not leave Bennett's side and amidst my fear that day and night (as I was 10 minutes up the road at Sibley), I had such comfort knowing that Bennett had his daddy by his side to talk to the doctors, monitor his status, and contact family members as the situation unfolded.  Travis has been perched by Bennett's side every minute that he can be there, and has been pouring upon Bennett words straight from the Bible, songs of praise, and prayers of strength....perhaps they have even had a few conversations about posting up under the basket in a few years and the upcoming UT football season- this would not surprise me at all Smile.  He has already blown me away by the father he is and I am so thankful for the strength he has shown in moments that I was literally almost immobile.  As my strength increases I really look forward to joining him more and more for their precious bed-side chats.

Thank you again for your prayers and please let them only continue for our Bennett- I have been clinging to this Psalm for years, but it has a whole new meaning for me now:

"Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you.  Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul.  Teach me to do your will, for you are my God; may your good spirit lead me on level ground."  Psalm 143:8

 





Comments:

comment by Yasmin on 08/27/2007
Kelly:

I am so, so thrilled to hear from you, to know that you are being so strong. I love you so, so very much. Your words bring tears to my eyes. You are so amazingly strong and loving, even in the face of this situation, something so trying. I pray for Bennett's recovery, and also give thanks for the fact that he has you and Travis for parents, such loving, supportive, beautiful people. I know God is listening to all of our prayers. Continue to be strong, Kelly. I love you so incredibly much and am there with you in spirit, please know that. I love you,

Yasmin
comment by Rachel Klick on 08/25/2007
KELLY! It's so good to "hear" from you. As much as I have been praying to baby Bennett, I have also been praying for you. I can't imagine how hard yesterday was for you to leave the hospital without your baby boy in your arms. You have always been such an encouragement to me and I admire and love you so much. As you go through this with your husband and son I pray feel the love of all those around you and you experience the peace and comfort of our heavenly Father. I can't wait to hug you! Thank you for sharing your words and your experience from the past week...and I second what you said...Bennett is such a precious BEAUTIFUL baby! I love you my dear friend!
In Him,
Rachel
comment by Matt, Michalle & Jeb on 08/25/2007
Kelly ~ I loved reading your beautiful words. We are so grateful for Bennett's progress and that you are able to be with your boys even more now. Picturing you as his incredible Mamma ~ being able to be up praying, speaking, singing over your sweet Bennett melts my heart and brought a flood of joy-filled tears this morning. Bennett is such a blessing and you are so right ~ loving and living life truly is never the same :)
We are ever-praying for each of you...
love, M,M & J

oh no, You never let go, through the calm and through the storm
oh no, You never let go, every high and every low
oh no, You never let go,
Lord you never let go of me ...
comment by Aunt Meredith on 08/25/2007
Trav, Kelly,& baby Bennett-
I have seen alot over the past several days with you guys at the hospital. I have seen Trav singing, talking, and praying with Ben-Ben. I have seen Kelly whisper softly and kissing his sweet little head to which he actually moves from his mothers voice. I have seen the countless rotations of nurses and doctors who are around Bennett 24 hours a day. I have seen you guys laugh and cry at the pages and pages of journal ntoes you read. I also whispered in Bennett's ear that if you or Travis ever told him "no", then I would most surely say "yes" to whatever he wanted. But the most important thing I saw while at the hospital was the Lord moving from room to room giving you both a peace that passes all understanding. "Surely the Lord is in this place."
Kelly-it literally broke my heart to leave you yesterday knowing the rough few hours ahead, but just know how much I love you and think about you three every second. Remember what we talked about early Friday morning-he is going to be ok.
I love you guys so much-
Mere (Aunt Mere)
comment by Matt, Michalle & Jeb on 08/25/2007
Kelly ~ I loved reading your beautiful words. We are so grateful for Bennett's progress and that you are able to be with your boys even more now. Picturing you as his incredible Mamma ~ being able to be up praying, speaking, singing over your sweet Bennett melts my heart and brought a flood of joy-filled tears this morning. Bennett is such a blessing and you are so right ~ loving and living life truly is never the same :)
We are ever-praying for each of you...
love, M,M & J

oh no, You never let go, through the calm and through the storm
oh no, You never let go, every high and every low
oh no, You never let go,
Lord you never let go of me ...
comment by melissa hess on 08/25/2007
So good to hear from you. You (and Travis & Bennett) have been in my thoughts and prayers constantly. He is so beautiful and I thank God that continues to be stable. Love you.
comment by Chris and Shelle Honeycutt on 08/25/2007
Travis and Kelly, We are praying for you both and for Bennett. Your strength during this time is amazing. Please know that there are many people in Houston praying for you and your family. ICB, Chris and Shelle
comment by Jaime Sanderson on 08/25/2007
Precious Kelly,

Thank you for sharing your heart with us. We continue to pray and pray for your whole family but especially for your precious baby boy! He has stolen the hearts of the masses as we all feel so connected to him and to you all through our prayers!

I was doing pretty good reading your entry and comments until I got to Ramona's when she talked about seeing you sitting in church with Bennett...then I lost it and have had a hard time keeping the tears at bay! Murrray has said that he is starting to visualize specific times with you all and Bennett (at home, UT games, on vacations, etc.) He is claiming those memories in Jesus' name and asking the Lord to let them be, knowing he has you all resting in his hands right now. I am doing the same, still praying for those "showers" to happen soon!

We sure do love you guys! Praying nonstop!!

Jaime
comment by Becky Brooks on 08/25/2007
Kelly-

we are praying for all of you constantly...with great hope we ask the Lord to fully restore Bennett...to continue to give you Travis strength.

Bennett is a beautiful baby. My boys and I have looked at his pictures so many times...each times asking the Lord for His mercy and healing to pour over that sweet little body.

Love you-
BJB
comment by Becky Brooks on 08/25/2007
Kelly-

we are praying for all of you constantly...with great hope we ask the Lord to fully restore Bennett...to continue to give you Travis strength.

Bennett is a beautiful baby. My boys and I have looked at his pictures so many times...each times asking the Lord for His mercy and healing to pour over that sweet little body.

Love you-
BJB
comment by Cyndi on 08/25/2007
Good morning, Specks! I really wish I was there this morning in Fairfax right now to join the prayer vigil for you. But instead, I am going to sit right here and pretend that I am and pray for you.
comment by Colleen on 08/25/2007
Kelly,

I am so glad to hear your voice and I am so glad the Lord is healing you and filling you with comfort, strength, love, and peace. Isn't the love for your son amazing; how it fills every part of your body and soul!
I know coming home without your beautiful son is so tough but know that the Lord is holding him and singing to him every minuite of everyday. He will never leave Bennett's side.
Take care my dear friend and know that we are sending our love and prayers to you, Travis, and sweet Bennett constantly throughout each day and we will never stop.

With all my love,
Colleen
comment by Amy Crump on 08/25/2007
Glad you're home from the hospital. Hope you continue to heal well. You guys have not left our thoughts and we'll continue to pray for Bennett to heal from the infection.
comment by Brenda Newberry on 08/25/2007
Hi Kelly,

It's so good to hear from you. Also, looking forward to a picture of you with that sweet baby. So glad you have been released and are feeling better. You truly have been blessed with a wonderful husband and a beautiful baby! May you continue to feel the comfort and strength being prayed for you. May each day bring improvement for you and Bennett. Love, Brenda
comment by christy on 08/25/2007
Kelly,
It was great to "hear" your voice. Thank you for sharing your sweet Bennett with all of us. We already love him! I pray that not only your physical strength returns, but you are drawing strength from all that are praying from you.
I know your precious boy loves to hear you and Travis talk and sing to him. Whisper a song in his sweet little hear for me, too!
love you
Christy
comment by Ashley Nelson on 08/25/2007
Kelly, It is so good to see a post from you. You and Travis are a rock of strength for Bennett. I just keep praying that you will feel God's arms around you and Bennett will hear Him singing over him. We love all three of you and have not stopped praying for you. Rest as much as you can. You still have some rough, post C-Section, days ahead too. Thinking of you!
Ashley, Cody, and Carley
comment by Debbie Turk on 08/25/2007
Kelly,
We have been lifting you up all week, I'm so very thankful you have been discharged. Please remember to conserve your strength, there is still a long road to travel and your body has been through an awful lot. (words from the mother of a daughter) I have never had one doubt that you and Travis will be wonderful parents, Bennett has been blessed that God gave him such a special mom and dad. May God now continue to heal the three of you and allow you to be discharged from the small world Bennett has known thus far. That boy needs to feel the sunshine and the warmth of the world that God created just for him to enjoy. We love you all and will continue praying for your very special family.
Debbie
comment by Tracy Machinski on 08/25/2007
Kelly and Travis,
We are THRILLED of Kelly's discharge and rejoicing in your gaining strength, Kelly. The recent report on Bennett truly is GREAT and we will certainly continue to pray for all 3 of you every step of this journey. We admire you both and your deep faith with Bennett's health! You are incredible parents and already setting a fantastic example for Bennett; teaching him to rely on our Lord, and to praise Him in all circumstances. We continue to pray for you; for strength, peace, endurance, healing, and comfort. With Love and Many Prayers,
Griff, Tracy and Emily Machinski
comment by Ramona on 08/25/2007
Kelly, you are so precious and beautiful inside and out. I'm so thankful God has blessed you with an amazing husband and son. It's just wonderful. I usually don't get to see you up close at church, I usually see you every once in a while from where I'm sitting - and you are singing near or with the praise team. I was praying during the night and thinking about seeing you later at that same spot holding Bennett - I can't wait, and it will probably bring happy tears :). I am praying and praying day and night! Love, Ramona
comment by Tanya Hinckley on 08/25/2007
Oh, Kelly...you are the sweetest!! I just can't stop thinking about your sweet family. Praying for the three of you!!

Love you~
Tanya
comment by Kelli on 08/24/2007
Kelly - it's great to hear from you! I'm so glad that you have been discharged and are doing better. I pray that you get to your normal life soon and that little Bennett can join you. You all are being so strong and I know it's because of the Lord and what he is giving you. We continue to pray for you three and hope you all can get home as a family soon.

Love, Brent, Kelli and Rachel
comment by Ann on 08/24/2007
Kelly, I love you so much and wish I was there with you. I love "hearing" your voice in this entry. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and for letting us see a little more of your sweet son through your eyes. He is so beautiful. And to hear you honor your husband like you have is so powerful to hear--Travis is a wonderful man and I'm so glad he is there to care for you and Bennett. May God bless you both with all that you need. I love you both and especially that sweet little boy Bennett. I will continue praying--I think about you guys all the time. God be with you friend--I ache with you and pray for your peace.
comment by ginger on 08/24/2007
I am so proud of you! You were so right when you said that you will NEVER be the same...your heart has experienced a love like never before...that of motherhood. I know that the peace you are feeling is a direct result of the prayers that have been lifted up specifically for that exact emotion. No one deserves it more than you! I wish you knew how much I have thought about you guys this week. Bennett's name has been on my lips constantly, whether it has been to the Father, or to someone here in Sweetwater. So many prayer warriors are approaching Him on your behalf! Cody loved the analogy used in regards to Bennett's journey as a "marathon"...lots of hills and valleys. He said to remind you of the complete exhileration that you will feel when you come to the end of this journey and Bennett is healed. I am confident that it will be sooner than later and that gorgeous baby boy will be home with you where he belongs. Until then, just imagine all of us cheering him on on the sidelines...
I love you sweetie.
-g
comment by Rebecca Hedges on 08/24/2007
Kelly and Travis--
We've had a wonderful rain to cheer our parched earth in NW Arkansas! Made me thank the Lord for the times of refreshing that he's giving you guys. I pray that he'll fill that empty void that was in your car as you drove home alone, even though you knew your precious boy was being taken care of by the best. Even better--he was being cradled by his heavenly Father who does have great plans for him! BUT you wanted him right there in YOUR arms. Kelly, I thank the Lord for your man Travis and his heart. The Lord bless you both and your families and rid Bennett's body of that infection.
We love you...Scott and Rebecca Hedges
comment by Sarah T on 08/24/2007
Kelly-It is so good to hear from you. Your proclamation of faith is beautiful and your love for your 2 boys is eternal. May you be blessed with more peace and comfort again today. You and Travis and Bennett can do this!
comment by Jennifer King on 08/24/2007
Your strength and courage are truly a testimony. God is working in many ways. It is so good to hear your sweet thoughts and words. Know that we are praying.
comment by Jeanette Woo on 08/24/2007
Kelly & Travis,
Thinking & praying for you everyday! You guys are amazing!

Bennett,
Stay strong beautiful boy. You are so loved by everyone around you!

In Him,
Jeanette
comment by Jodi (Gray) Beaver on 08/24/2007
Kelly, you haven't changed a bit. :) How precious your words of love are for your both your boys! We are praying like crazy... I'll admit I don't always get to the phone to page your throughout the day, but we are praying "without ceasing" for your sweet family around here! Thanks for the updates, and know that you are loved and prayed for from Houston! And don't forget to take care of yourself too. That is hard in Mommy-hood, especially in your situation. Those c-sections take lots of TLC afterwards! (It gets better everday.) May God give you comfort, healing, and peace that surpasses all understanding!
comment by Martha Rogers on 08/24/2007
Kelly, It is so good to hear your words and see what you have been thinking through the week. I have always admired your strength and courage; now, I do more so than ever. You are an amazing mama and wife. I also love to hear all your thoughts about your sweet hubby. Through two NICU journeys, I have fallen much more deeply in love with my Keith and valued our friendship so much more than I ever thought possible. Even with the darkest days, Keith and I were strengthened in our marriage and love for one another. I hear in your words that you and Travis are having the same experience. May God continue to walk with you as Bennett fights to be with you. He is beautiful, Kelly. I am praying for Bennett as well as you and Travis every ten minutes. Much love to you and great healing to your angel boy through the strength of the Almighty. M
comment by J-Wild on 08/24/2007
Your unfolding story was sent to me by our dear friends Chris and Mindy Bedard. You are in our fervent prayers. May God's power be revealed. Please know that what ever you choose to express here be it assurance or doubt, I a stranger to you, will bear witness to your struggle. And in bearing witness to your families struggle bring you before God with a whole host of people, many of whom you may never meet. May the angles bring peace to Bennett tonight, and may God grant you peace in your sleep. Blessings.
comment by B and G on 08/24/2007
We hope that the two of you rest well this evening knowing that little Bennett is being cared for not only by those in the NICU, but by so many prayers being offered on his behalf thru the night. I am reminded of the lullaby "All Thru the Night" and wish for each of you a sweeet,peaceful night of rest. Our love and prayers are with you. B and G
comment by Deborah Bills on 08/24/2007
Kelly,
Oh, my sweet friend. I just had tears reading your journal entry. I am utterly amazed by your strength in this time of trial. God has made you and Travis to be "rocks" in so many people's lives. Now it is time for us to be "rocks" for you. Even with miles separating us, I feel like we are fighting this battle with you. I would love to know how many times the Lord heard the name "Bennett" today--I'll bet it was in the thousands!!
I love you!
Deborah
comment by Jonathan, Jessica and Simone on 08/24/2007
We just wanted to check in once more for a quick update. We're praying that baby Bennett will keep holding his own and grateful for some positive news. Like Ann and I were saying today, we're cautiously optimistic. We love you guys!

J,J & S
comment by Carolyn Wright on 08/24/2007
Kelly,We are so glad you are discharged and hope you can get some rest tonight and greet your little "fighter" in the morning. It was such a surprise when your post came up. I was making my final check for the day and it was really good to see "from Kelly" You have our love and prayers for your precious little boy. Randy and Carolyn
comment by Laura Mundie on 08/24/2007
PS-Of course you know Travis is talking to Bennett about the big game next weekend! He is probably whispering stats and positions and whatnot to get Bennett excited about the big game! Can't start Bennett too early....right dad?
comment by Meredith (Reid) Moore on 08/24/2007
Kelly, Travis and sweet Bennett-So thankful to read that Bennett continues to be stable and that you may get some much needed rest. May God continue to strengthen you and heal Bennett. Fervently praying for you all!!!!
comment by Laura Mundie on 08/24/2007
Kelly, You are a strong woman of faith and love and I look up to you in so many ways. I can honestly say I would not be as strong. You rock. I pray for you all day and I know that you will get through this. I can't wait until we can see you and hug you. Savannah says something to the effect of "babee amie," which means "baby amen." She prays for Bennett several times a day and repeats and repeats "babie amie," even when we aren't praying. She will be exciting to meet this "babie" and hopefully she will even be saying Bennett when she finally gets to meet him! Love yall! Thanks for posting.



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