Happy Birthday, Alexander.  We miss you.

Missing you today Alexander

It's been one year and one day since you left us.  I feel so numb.

Can it really be a year since I last heard you laugh...last saw you smile... We had such fun that last day making and decorating Christmas cookies.

Mommy misses you so much Alexander.

My sweet Alexander,

I can't believe it's been nearly a year since I held you in my arms or heard you say "mommy".  The house is so quiet without you and I miss you so terribly much.

My heart aches.  I miss Alexander so much.   Mother's Day is tomorrow and it's another sad first I'll have to live through without Alexander.

We buried Alexander yesterday.  Next to saying goodbye to him in the hospital, this is probably the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life.

Dan and I stopped by his grave today just to check things out and see how the flowers had been placed.  We plan to go back tomorrow to place a Christmas wreath and dig holes to place the pots and arrange the other flowers.

So, Alexander and I had quite a morning yesterday.  He'd been running a fever overnight and around 6:30am, he had a febrile seizure.  It was quite scary for me especially since I was home alone with him.  (Dan had left early that morning for a 6am flight.)  I called 911 and we had great response (3 police officers, 4 paramedics, and the 2 EMTs).  They quickly got us to the hospital and Alexander was treated right away.  Turns out he had a viral infection that we didn't know about.  We thought the fever was related to the mosquito bite he had on his forehead (based on the previous mosquito bite on his face).

All is well now.  The whole thing was definitely harder on me than on Alexander.