I remember this moment very vividly. 

I just stood there.

I stood in the doorway of the freshly painted nursery we had just finished decorating for our new baby girl.  Ella had been born 5 days before, and this was the first time Erik and I had been home since her birth.  We were packing our things to head up to University of Michigan Children’s hospital in hopes that they could tell us things the Doctors here just could not.  We had been told Ella would be blind, yet we were still not sure of the status of her brain or her tiny beating heart.  The unknowns of our daughter’s condition loomed heavy over us. 

I just stood there. 

Staring at all of the beautiful toys, blankets, clothing and other gifts I had received at my baby shower.   A countless number of children’s books.  A cute mobile for the crib that had a mirror attached to it.  All of the artwork I had hung on the walls in bright, bold colors.  I fell to my knees as I sobbed.  

I said to Erik, very seriously, “We have to take ALL of this back.  Right now!  She cannot see any of it.  How will she ever enjoy these things?  How will she enjoy anything in her life?  How?  Tell me!!!” 

I craved answers.  I needed a plan.  I wanted to have control over a situation that I had absolutely no control over.   Ever the voice of reason, Erik told me with an almost unbelievable calmness, “No, Jill.  It will NOT be like that.  I promise.”  (have I mentioned how much I love that man?)

I wanted to believe him.  Oh, how I wanted to believe.  It was exactly what I needed to hear.  But as we stood there in the doorway of the nursery, holding tight to each other, his warm tears eventually mixed with mine as they flowed silently down his cheek. 

We had so many feelings of doubt…fear…uncertainty.  And why wouldn’t we?  The news of Ella’s condition was so fresh in our minds and hearts.  We had little knowledge.  We had little experience.  We had no idea what our future would hold…

____________________________________________________

I am so thankful to God that those days are far behind us!!! 

As Ella often says, “Whoo-Hoo!!” 

That moment occurred a little over three years ago & I am happy to report that I am a mere fragment of the person I was that day in the doorway of Ella’s nursery.  (I know the same goes for Erik!)   Every day since Ella’s birth has been an adventure in learning, growing, changing and coming up with ways to maximize each experience she has in her non-visual world.  

Not that Ella needs much help maximizing anything.  She is 3 going on 13 with an independent spirit and a sense of humor that just amazes us.  Her grasp of language is well beyond her years and her thirst for knowledge continues to grow every day.  She is loving, caring, kind, sassy, brave, hilarious, smart, playful and thoughtful.  Some of the things she does and says lately just leave us absolutely in stitches.  She wants to TRY everything, DO everything and does not for one minute think that she shouldn’t or can’t do anything that any other child can do. 

She is very interested in relationships lately – who is related to who and how and what is the proper term for that relationship.  She always wants to know what Street or Road we are on when driving in the car.  She will hear my blinker and ask, “Oh, you are turning.  What street will we be on now?”  If a new song comes on the radio, she wants to know what the name of it is and who is singing it.  At snack time, sometimes she will ask for something crunchy, smooth or bumpy instead of naming an actual food.  She always tells us what we are wearing by feeling our clothes.  “Oh, you’ve got on a tank top.”   A t-shirt.  bathing suit.  a towel.  jeans.  shorts.  a skirt, etc.   She is so curious about everything.  She always wants to know if people are boys or girls or young or old.  “He’s and she’s” she calls people.  “I am SO good at my pronouns!!”  She exclaims.  She wants to know what colors things are.  Pretty amazing, I know.  Don’t make the mistake of calling her “baby” either.  She will say, “Oh, mommy…you mean big girl.”  Of course I did, Ella.  J

My sister and her family were home for a visit earlier this month.  My 4 year old nephew, Rylan, wanted to play the Wii in my parent’s basement one afternoon.  I was going to take the other kids outside for a walk. 

“I want to play Wii too Mommy,” Ella said.  “I want to bowl with Rylan.”  I asked her, “You do?  Really?”

She replied, “Mommy…why wouldn’t I?” 

And so she did.  With a little help from Daddy, which she did not enjoy.  Miss Independent wanted to do it all by herself.  And even though she faced the wall instead of the TV while she bowled, she swung that Wii controller and had the time of her life.   I sat in amazement as I mentally added that to the list of things I never thought my blind child would be able to enjoy.  (Kudos to my nephew Rylan as well for punishing Ella like he does to all of us who try to play him in Wii bowling.   The kid is crazy good!)

We took a family vacation to southern California last month to visit Erik’s parents.  We took the kids to Disneyland in hopes of bringing alive all of the episodes we’ve watched of the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse on the Disney Channel.  That’s right.  Ella watches TV.  She has her favorite shows and enjoys them very much. 

Turns out, Ella had a better time than most of the kids in attendance at Disneyland that day.    She had a constant smile plastered on her little face as she waited patiently in line to meet her favorite characters or ride all of the fun rides with Daddy.  It was an absolute thrill for her and she was still singing “It’s a Small World After All” as we walked back to our car at 11pm that night.   She loves to tell people, “I met Minnie, Mickey & Goofy!  Donald must have had the day off.”  Again…I mentally added it to my list as a realization washed over me.  Who was I to ever put limits on her enjoyment of life in the first place? 

I will never be able to define my girl Ella in one short journal entry, but I can say with 100% certainty that while she will experience the world a bit differently than most, she will always be doing it to the full extent of her little heart. 

A marvelous example of this happened yesterday.

I was driving the kids home from running errands when the sky opened up in a terrible downpour.  The rain was coming down sideways, making it very hard to drive.  The booming thunder crashed all around us.  I could hardly hear Ella’s sweet voice from the backseat as she was saying something.  I asked her to repeat herself.

“Mommy, when we get home I want to feel the rainstorm.”

I said, “It is raining really hard babe.   Like, really hard.” 

“I know,” she said.  “I just want to stand in it.”

Ok, Ella.  If you say so.  I got her out of her carseat when we pulled into the garage and put her down on the floor.  “Walk straight ahead and out of the garage if you still want to do it,” I told her.

She took a few steps and within seconds was being pelted with the unrelenting drops.  She giggled uncontrollably.  “Whoo-Hoo!” she yelled.  “I am getting soaked!”  She held her little hands up in the air.   “I love this!”  she screamed.

She just stood there. 

Laughing, whooping, wet & cold and loving every minute of it.  I sat in the garage and thought back to that girl in the doorway of Ella’s nursery that day.  Oh, the things I would tell her now.   I would tell her that it will eventually be OK.  That time will heal all her wounds & worries and that her heart will be stretched out and filled up in ways she can only dream about.   I would tell her that with her daughter's help, she will learn to see the world in a different wonderful way.  I would tell her that it ends up that sight is merely one of your 5 senses and absolutely non-essential to living a healthy, fun-filled life. 

Erik was right.  It has NOT been like I thought it would be.  Ella enjoyed those baby toys & blankets when she was little and has continued enjoying her life ever since.  In her own special and unique way.  Just like any other kid her age.  I thought of how I stood there long ago and looked out at Ella standing in the pouring rain with her hands raised to the sky.   It was as if her smile was speaking to me. 

“Why wouldn’t I, mommy?” 

You are so right Ella Elizabeth.  Why wouldn’t you sweet girl?!

PS:  If our camera was not broken, I would have documented this moment.  But…I bet you can picture it. J

PS #2:  Yes, we do also have a 9 month old son named Chase.  More to come on him in another post!!

PS #3:  I often wonder how many people even read my Journal.  If you feel led, please leave me a comment.  Or your name.  Or your city/state.  Or just “hi.”  Thanks J

There has been so much exciting stuff going on in our family lately...seems everytime I sit down to write something...someone needs to be either fed, changed or put to bed!!!  Stay tuned for an Ibsen update soon...I promise!

Love, Jill

I wanted to share two stories we found online recently that have touched my heart in a special way. 

I think you will like them too  

We are getting ready for a special visit from Nana and G.Pa tomorrow, and then Uncle Ryan and Helen next week!  New pictures and videos to come soon...

Love, Jill

http://www.latimes.com/sports/la-sp-plaschke22-2009feb22,0,1154237.column

http://sports.espn.go.com/espnmag/story?id=3967807

I have wanted to update on this site for so long...and even now as I attempt to I have a 3 month old staring at me with "the look" that lets me know he is fixin' to get hysterical.  Pardon me if this one is brief!  We are attempting to thaw out from under a deep freeze, and are all feeling better after almost two solid weeks of sickness.  Sub-zero temps + ice + snow + small house + two sick kids = a stir crazy mama that felt like she teetered on the edge on insanity several times.  Thank God for Erik who was there to talk me off the ledge.  And let me escape to the bookstore, Target, or wherever I could find a warm cup of coffee and a quiet moment.  I just keep singing that song my mom taught me when I was young, "Spring has sprung, the grass has ris', I wonder where my tulips is?"  It is terrible grammar and makes me sound like a redneck , but it makes me happy.   Everybody wants mama happy, right?

Chase Gregory:  He melts our hearts on a daily basis.  He is three months old on 1/24 and really starting to smile, laugh, frown and furrow.  He is a man of many faces...and they are all so precious!  He is not what you would call "failure to thrive" in any way and I see him rarely missing a meal in the near future.  The only time we see him become a monster is when we have waited a minute too long to fix his bottle.  He gets this violent little scream and becomes all sweaty and redfaced.  (Dare I say I think that runs in my family?!)  Our little tank has been taking his last bottle between 11-11:30 at night and sleeping until - don't jinx it! - 7:00 in the morning.   All I can say is that we have been blessed by this in so many ways.  Is it selfish of me to hope it continues this way forever??!!  When he is not sleeping, Chase is pretty mellow most of the time.  He is content to watch his sister play with toys or listen to her sing songs.   Did I mention he seems to whine a lot when I walk out of his field of vision?  As Erik says, "Jeez, you are so humble"...but it is true!  Chase is a bona fide mama's boy and I love it.  He stares at me like I just might be the best thing he has ever seen.  We have to apply lotion to his sweet face every day to keep it moisturized from all of the kisses he gets on those chubby cheeks!!  I love to watch him watching Ella.  His facial expressions give way to what I think his thoughts must be and it is fascinating.  Let's be honest...this kid will never be winning any poker games with that telling face he's got!!!

Ella Elizabeth:  Our sweet girl turned 2 1/2 around Christmas time and when she is in the right mood, I feel like I am talking to another adult when Ella and I have conversations.  She is an amazing verbal communicator.  I think it is best to just share some recent stories of things Ella has been saying and doing.  Prepare to be entertained!!

- She LOVES to sing.  She knows the words to a million songs.  She is also very into rhyming everything lately.  The other day she says to me, "I have a song.  It's called Cool Whip."  Then she goes full throttle, singing me the first original tune she made up in her amazing little mind.  It even has a melody!  It goes a little something like this: 

"Cool Whip on my Jello - Cool Whip on my Pudding - and Cool Whip on my PUMP-KIN pie!  Cool Whip, bo-bool whip, bo-bool whip...everyday."

I was blown away by her creativity and pleasantly surprised that she picked a food group I love as well.  (yes, cool whip and marshmallows are considered a food group in our home!) I will attempt to get the Cool Whip song on video and post it on this site. 

- Ella was sick for almost two weeks and had to go to our PEDS office three times in that span.  The last time, when she was given the all clear on her ear infection and yelled, "Goodbye Doctor - thank you!" when we left - we decided she had earned some sort of treat.  She tells me that she wants a Cranberry slushie from Sonic.  No problem.  It is a 10 minute drive or so into the next town, but I did not mind at all.  We pull up to Sonic and the drivethru line is a mile long.  It is happy hour and the whole town has slushie fever.  I groan a little bit and fall into my place in line, my patience waining.  Ella yells from the backseat, "I changed my mind!  All done with the Sonic slushie!"  (which is code for: she does not want one anymore)  I am thrilled because I can still pull out of the never ending line.  I say, "You changed your mind, huh?"  And she responds, "Yes...it is a woman's prerogative."  (Thanks G.Pa for teaching Ella that line over the holidays!)  Turns out she was in the mood for french fries from Wendy's instead.  By the way, I totally agree on the whole woman's prerogative thing.  One minute we might want a slush, the next minute we want fries.  Just deal with it men, OK??!!

- Sometimes I say "Ahhh-Goo" to Chase to get him to smile and laugh.  He really likes it most of the time, as long as he is not hungry!  Ella hears me doing this so she will start it herself at times when she hears him near her or he starts getting a little fussy.  The funny thing about it is that Ella seems to think that the louder Chase gets, the louder she must say it in order to calm him down.  The other day I walked into the family room and Chase was screaming his little head off and Ella was sitting right next to him, matching him in volume with her "AHHH-GOO!"  It was hilarious.  They were both sweaty and a little red-faced but I had to applaud her effort.  Sometimes she will say, "Whatcha crying for buddy?" and pause like she is giving him time to respond.  Other times she will mimic my baby talk and say things in this real high pitched voice.  She will say, "Oh baby!  Are you looking at your lobster?"  (one of his favorite toys)  I have to laugh when she finally says, "That is enough Chase.  Knock it off!" 

- A couple of weekends ago, when we got 8 or so inches of snow dumped on us, Erik had to head out on a Saturday morning to slow blow the driveway.  Those of you who have no idea what that means, consider yourselves lucky for living in a warm weather state.  I was watching him through the window as he was attempting to get the old thing started.  It looked for awhile like the snow blower might get the best of my usually gentle-spirited husband.  I told Ella that daddy needed some help.  She walked over to the window and started banging on it with both hands.  "You can do it Daddy!" she yells.  "Don't give up!!"  Within seconds, the snow blower came to life and she erupted into a pile of applause and giggles.  "He did it!  He did it!"  Have I mentioned that Ella simply loves life in general and is one of the most encouraging little people I have ever met?   I mean, who gets that excited over a snow blower, right?  The sincererity with which things excite her is so sweet.  She lives every day to the fullest.  Everyday she finds something to rejoice about.  Whether big or little, she doesn't care.   It does not matter to her.  She is just all about living large and not looking back.  We have so much to learn from her!!

Thanksgiving Day comes, by statute, once a year; to the honest man it comes as frequently as the heart of gratitude will allow.  ~Edward Sandford Martin

“I’m so thankful…”  How many times have I started a sentence with this phrase over the past month?  A countless number of times it seems.  It is difficult to express in words all of the ways that my heart is thankful this Thanksgiving.  We have felt the Lord’s hand in so many different situations in our lives recently.  He is so good – and to Him alone we give all the praise and thanksgiving J  

“I’m so thankful…that our sweet baby boy, who was born on October 24^th, came out healthy and beautiful, despite the drama we experienced in our delivery room.  We arrived at the hospital at 8:00pm, and Chase was here by 10:40 pm.  He came so fast that my Dr. did not even make it in time.  (An amazing physician on-call that night delivered him instead!)  I had received my epidural only 5 minutes prior to the time that the nurse was unable to locate Chase’s heartbeat on the monitors.  The numbers dropped from 150 to 30 to zero in mere seconds.  “Controlled panic” (as Erik called it) set in and all of the sudden there were 12 people in our room, including a trauma team from the NICU.  Chase came flying into the world with the umbilical cord wrapped around his little neck not once or twice, but FOUR times.  He was completely blue and silent.  The team worked on him and the Dr.’s commented that they had never ever seen a cord wrapped that many times.  All we could do was hope and pray.  Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, the heavenly sound of his first cries reached our ears and we were told he would be just fine.  They wrapped him up and placed him in my arms as one by one the incredible people who had just saved our little boy’s life quietly left us to revel in the glory of our newest family member.  He slowly opened his lovely little eyes and stared right at me.  There was not a dry eye in the room.  Chase is a perfect gift from above and completes our family in a very special way.

“I’m so thankful…that Ella is a fascinating little human being and that she is not only tolerating a newborn in the house, she is actually loving on him and accepting him into our lives.  She is still very much a two year old at times, however, she will ask to feel his toes, his hair and his smooth face.  She will lean in to kiss him goodnight and talk about what he is doing all day long.  She will find his paci on the table and try to give it to him if he is crying.  She will sing him songs at the top of her little lungs when we are riding in the car.  I can see that the Lord is working in her life as she is creating a special place in her heart just for her little brother.  She understands that our world does not just revolve around her alone anymore, but now him as well – and she is OK with that.  Well, better than OK actually.  She is well on her way to becoming a young lady and given the chance – I would never want to change one single thing about her.  My own life is so much fuller for the privilege of having her in it. 

“I’m so thankful…that the Lord still has big plans for both of my parents here on earth.  Last Friday night, they were driving together not a mile from their home when someone hit a patch of black ice and crossed the center line, hitting their car head-on at 50 mph.  They were taken separately by ambulance to Toledo hospital and assessed by trauma teams.  In an accident where both cars were totaled and according to witnesses could have been so much worse…my parents were blessed to walk away with some broken ribs, banged up knees, and lots of bumps and bruises.   My mom was kept two nights in the hospital with elevated cardiac enzymes, but both are now recovering at home as comfortably as possible.   Thank God for my Aunt Marlene and Uncle Denny who met me at the hospital and helped out as we went back and forth from one ER room to the next, talking to Dr.’s and getting test results.   Thanks to my brother Jeff who drove from Columbus as soon as I called and was able to take my dad home on Friday night to watch over him as he was still in a state of shock.  Jeff is a wonderful, caring, loving person with a huge heart.  What a comfort to be able to rely on your siblings in a situation like that.  We are truly blessed.

“I’m so thankful…for my amazing husband.  For his strength and wisdom in any situation, especially emergencies.  He cares for and he protects.  He is dependable and constant.  When I called from the ER to say I would be spending the night at the hospital with my mom, he was nothing but supportive.  I felt such peace knowing that he would be able to handle our two year old and our four week old all on his own…fixing dinner, diaper changes, bedtime, feeding Chase every three hours, breakfast the next morning, etc.  Even though I am a stay at home mom that watches over the kids when Erik works, I had zero doubt that he would manage.   When I walked in the house Saturday afternoon and saw him coming down the stairs with both of our babies in his arms and a big smile on his face – well, it did something to my heart that I have never felt before.  I loved him in a brand new way that cannot be explained.  Let’s face it – many men just would not have been able to do that for their families.  I’m thankful that I never have to worry about that at all. 

“I’m so thankful…that giving birth to a sighted baby after two years of raising a blind child has been the most natural thing in the world for me.  I waited a long time for it to hit me.  A sort of “A-Ha!” moment, as Oprah calls it.  But…it never came.  The Lord has allowed my heart to accept Chase’s vision as just plain, well, ordinary.  No drama.  No guilt.  No sorrow or jealous feelings of any kind.  In fact, just exactly the opposite.  While I was sitting around waiting for my epiphany, God was allowing me to see and love Ella in a whole new light.  As if I could love her anymore, right?  He took me above and beyond the realm of possibility.  I’m so thankful that I am one of the lucky ones.  A “special needs mama” that gets to experience life in ways other traditional mothers do not.  Ella will always be my most precious and extraordinary girl.  Our hearts have changed dramatically since her birth.  But now, with the arrival of Chase, the Lord has allowed us a little sense of normalcy in our lives.  No NICU for weeks.  No visits to different specialists or hours researching conditions online.  No fear, no sorrow, no questions.  Just the plain old joy and lack of sleep that come with bringing a newborn home.  I’d be lying if I said I was not thankful for these feelings of things finally being “usual.”  Routine.  Commonplace.  It is nice for a change J

So, on this Thanksgiving holiday I am experiencing true gratitude.  My prayer is that each of you are lucky enough to do the same.  Be Blessed!

To speak gratitude is courteous and pleasant, to enact gratitude is generous and noble, but to live gratitude is to touch Heaven.
Johannes A. Gaertner

ABC's hit TV show, Extreme Makeover: Home Edition was filming in Toledo last week, working on a house for a deserving family of 14 that live about 20 minutes away from us.  As much as I love that show, I never took the time to drive by the site, or be shuttled there as a spectator.  I kept up with the progress through local news broadcasts and websites set up by the local company who headed up the build.  Fortunately for us, some of our friends live right next door and took some great pictures from their own backyard that they shared with us.  (see them in the New Pictures gallery) I've watched the show so many times on television and it is always hard for me to fathom how they could really demolish a home, rebuild one from scratch and completely furnish it in 7 days time.  But...I watched it happen right before my eyes here in our own community.  Talk about extreme! 

Another cool bonus for us was that my dad's printing company was able to create some awesome decals for the new house, and my dad got to go to the site on Saturday and install the graphics himself.  I really wanted to go as his "assistant", but I understand why he decided to take one of his fellow employees instead!  He was able to meet Ty Pennington and the team of designers as he worked on one of the bedrooms that would house 3 out of the 12 kids in this wonderful family.  My dad even got his own private tour of the completed home after the family had returned and the Design Producers were so impressed with his work that they want to use his company again in future shows.  I can just see my dad with his own spot on the show someday as...Skip, "the graphics guy!"  Don't turn Hollywood on us yet, dad!!  We are very proud of you and thankful for the generosity of your company to donate time and effort towards this great cause   Great Job!!  The show is set to air sometime in November.

All of the Extreme Makeover buzz around this town last week really got me thinking.  Ella's life lately could be titled Extreme Changes:  Transitioning from loving things you used to hate doing, being carried all the time to walking, using two word sentences to an explosion of language and excelling in social situations.  The most obvious change in our lives is that we are preparing for the impending birth of our second child which in and of itself will be a pretty darn extreme change!  We are all really looking forward to welcoming a little boy into our family and giving Ella the special gift of a sibling to love, care for...smack upside the head and boss around daily.  Boy, is she ever excited!! 

We talk about the baby constantly and I believe this has helped her understand what is happening and will make the transition easier for her.  She will touch my belly when he kicks hard (did I mention he appears to have a black belt already?) and "ooh" and "aah" and rub her hand over it and sing him songs.  She also loves to say things like, "Yep, he's in there!" or "Goodnight...see ya when you're born!"  She will go through the list of things she thinks he will want to do with us when he gets here - it is so cute.  She says, "maybe he will want to lay in bed with us"  or "maybe he will want to go to the park with us."  Some other ones are, "he will sit in the rocking chair and read books with us" or "maybe he will play with toys with us."  She will tell me that the thing she wants to do most when he gets "born" is touch his baby piggies.  (She loves toes!!)  I can't wait to see how they will interact once he is here, and if she is being honest, or if she is just "all talk!"  Speaking of talk - I've compiled a list of things Ella has said over the past two months.  Now, those of you who know me, know I have a tendancy to exeggerate at times (me? no!!) but I tell you the honest truth...these things have truly poured from my daughter's mouth and some of them have left me trying to pick my jaw up off the floor.  PS:  I also had Erik check the list and he gave me a thumbs up on the legitemacy of all of these!!  Keep in mind - Ella just turned two in June.  She is smarter and retains more in that little brain of hers then I ever imagined possible.  I hate to brag...well, who are we kidding?  I love to brag!   And this site is perfect for just that sort of thing.  ENJOY!!

• Ella loves to have books read to her.  Tactile books and regular, no texture at all story books.  She will request book titles by name and she can finish almost all the sentences in her favorites that we read over and over.  We have recently checked out two books about Pumpkins and Halloween at our library and she will say outloud as she turns the pages..."don't rip these pages, this book belongs to the library!"  Needless to say, she has become smitten with the idea of pumpkins and we are headed this weekend to our local Apple Orchard to pick out one for us to carve.  She can't wait!  And I can't wait to take down a carton of apple fritters myself.  (Whoo-Hoo!  Being pregnant rules!)
• She has been linking things together lately and she will pick up an object and relate it to something else similar.  Ex:  She stood up on her changing table the other day and knocked on a big picture frame that I have hanging on the wall.  "this is kind of like a window," she said.  She was playing with the hardware on the front of this antique dry sink that I have in our dining room and said, "these are kind of like doorknobs" because they were circular and she could twist them around.
• I told her the other day while we were out that I needed to get some coffee.  (I got decaf - Ugh!)  Anyway, we pull up to the drivethru window at McDonalds and she is in the back in her carseat listening to music on the radio.  The woman asks, "may I help you?"  and Ella says, without missing a beat, "Small coffee, one cream, one splenda."  Turns out, that is exactly what I wanted and I didn't even have to open my mouth!
• Ella has been relating the idea of time to baseball innings.  I have no idea how she is doing this, but she is always dead on.  Erik was watching a Phillies game the other night when she asked him to "turn off the TV please."  (she does that now)  He said, "Oh, it is almost over" to which she replied, "How many innings are left?"  She knew that he was watching a baseball game.  Amazing.  We were on our way to my parents the other night and I told her that we were almost there, about 10 minutes to go.  "Two more innnings!" she yells.  And when we were almost to my friend Angie's house the other day, I said, "we are 2 minutes away honey" and she yells, "We are in the last inning!"  I just sit back and laugh sometimes!!  I would love to know how her mind works.
• I took her to my OB appointment last week and explained to her, as she sat in her stroller with a sucker, that I would be talking with my Dr. and would appreciate if she just sat there quietly and enjoyed her sucker.  She asked me, totally seriously, "Is your Dr. going to say No more monkeys jumping on the bed?  Cuz that is what the Dr. in my song says."  I nearly wet my pants.
• When the Democratic National Convention was on TV, I was watching Bill Clinton speak one night and Ella was sitting on the floor playing with her toys.  I never talked to her about what I was watching and she never said a word about the TV being on.  Later, as I was rocking her to sleep, she took out her paci and exclaimed, "I'm such a Democrat!"  I said, "oh really?  well who do you want to be the next president?"  She thinks for a minute and replies, "Well...Barack Obama, mama!"  How could I argue?  She has her mind made up.  (I secretly think it is just because his name is so darn fun to say!!)
• She can spell her first and last name, tell you her complete address as well as her phone number.  (minus the area code...we are still working on that!)
• We have a little neighborhood ice cream place that we love and recently they featured pumpkin ice cream which Ella and I just adored.  Before they closed for the season the other night, we got some and she proclaimed, "this is the best pumpkin ice cream I have ever seen!"  It was so cute. 
• She will sit in the family room and play with her toys that we have in baskets on the floor.  She reached in a basket and found a pair of shakers that she got as a gift on her first birthday and said, "Ooh, these are my old school shakers!"  Erik and I just looked at each other...neither of us had ever called them that before. 
• She will go into a total "mocking mommy" routine that is pretty hilarious.  She will be on the couch or sitting on the floor and then out of nowhere, she will start with, "Oh, my aching back!"  or "This baby is kicking me right in the ribs!"  My personal favorite has been, "Jeez, I need to get my feet up...NOW!"  Do I really complain and moan these things??  I must not even realize it at times...oops!   Leave it to your two year old to keep you honest.
• Ella loves to name her cousins and the friends that she loves.  She will all of the sudden get this huge smile on her face and name someone that she is thinking of right at that second.  Lately it has been our good friends from Pittsburgh that we miss dearly.  She will sit and smile and say, "Hey Ava...Hey Luce...I am thinking about you my good friends!"  It is very sweet and sincere.
• We were in my bedroom the other day and I was just watching her walk from my dresser to my bedside table, without holding on to anything.  She got to my table and reached up to feel what was on it.  She touched my library book and said, "Mommy's library book - don't rip the pages!"  Then she grabbed my chapstick and said "My lips are chapped.  I love lip gloss!"  She got my bottle of contact solution next and said, "I've got to put my contacts on now!"
• I will leave you with something she just said today that still blows my mind.  We were in the kitchen and I opened the medicine cabinet and the bottle of Tylenol came flying out at me.  "Ooh, you've got medicine, " she said, because she knows what a bottle of pills sounds like.  She then proceeded to tell me, "I'm allergic to amoxicillin."  I almost did not believe my ears...but then I realized that she was just remembering that the Dr. had told us months ago that she is indeed allergic to amoxicillin.  Ok then.  How am I supposed to respond to that??!!  I said, "Yes...yes, you are honey" and she went back to smiling and eating her fruit snacks like any old two year old. 

"Dear Jesus...I thank you for my mommy & daddy, my nana & g.pa, grandma & papa, aunt B & uncle brad, rylan and baby bridger, uncle jefe, uncle ryan & aunt helen...mark & julie's pool...and cake...just a little bit of cake.  Jesus loves me.  Amen!" 

These were the exact words that came out of Ella's mouth the other night when we sat down in her rocking chair for quiet time before bed, and she promptly announced, "I'll pray!"  How can you argue with that?  We had been at my Uncle Mark & Aunt Julie's house that day for a graduation party (Ella adores their big below ground pool) and we had also eaten the most delicious bakery cake you have ever tasted.  Those things must have stuck in her little mind and she wanted to make sure God knew just how thankful she was!  I laughed so hard and got her so darn excited that it took me an extra 20 minutes to get her down to sleep...but it was worth every minute!!

Ella has thrived over the past month and a half (since she turned two) in so many different ways - it is difficult to remember them all.  She is walking more, talking like a grown up, starting to eat with a fork and spoon (soon!), drinking out of a big girl sippy cup, requesting what she wants to eat for breakfast, lunch & dinner, and remembering things that happened months ago that mommy has long since forgotten. Her cognitive listening skills are so amazing - you really have to watch what you say and promise her because she WILL NOT let you forget what you have said!!  It is wonderful to be able to communicate with her and have her tell us what she wants to do, or not do as the case may be many times.  Here is just a little example of something that happened the other day.

I was sitting here at the computer, typing an e-mail and Ella was playing one of her most favorite games that she made up herself called "carpet/tile."  She stands in the hallway and puts one foot into the bathroom (tile floor) and yells "tile!" while the other foot stays in the hallway where it is carpeted.  "Carpet!" she yells.  She will just thrill herself forever playing this game and laughing hysterically at herself like she has got to be the smartest, funniest girl in the whole world.  She hears me typing and starts to walk into the guest room where our computer is.  "Get on your lap and type, mama," Ella says.  She walks over to me and climbs up.  I have opened up a new page in Word so she can type whatever she wants.  "Type a letter to Grandma, mama.  With my name and phone number, mama."  She proceeds to spell her name and then tell me our phone number.  I let her bang her "letter" out on the keyboard.  "Turn on the music please, mama, " she says next.  We have iTunes on our computer so I ask her if she has any requests.  "Sweet Caroline, mama."  (What is this, a karaoke bar?)  I turn on Sweet Caroline, which she usually loves, but halfway through the song she says, "Turn off Sweet Caroline and put on My Girl, please mama."  Done with one click of my mouse.  She is now grooving in my lap to The Temptations and still working hard on her letter to Grandma.  "Down please mama," she says when she is done typing.  "Let's go to Ella's room and sit in the window seat."  All of the sudden the e-mail I had been working on becomes a distant memory and I am headed down the hallway behind my sweet little girl as she takes her itty, bitty steps with her arms stretched out in front of her, "looking" for the doorway to her bedroom.  She makes it there.  "Ooh, wood floor, " she says when she reaches her room and steps in.  She walks to the window seat using her crib as a guide and climbs up to stand in her window and knock - another favorite pastime.  "Hey daddy, what's up?" she yells out the window which faces the garage.  I say, "Oh Ella, daddy is not home quite yet.  He will be in a little bit and then we can yell to him."  "Oh," she says.  "Chicken, gravy, mashed potatoes and carrots for dinner, mama!" she yells next.  I guess I'd better get down to the kitchen and get to work!!

I am convinced that having my sister and her two boys in town and seeing them almost daily for a month helped Ella's social skills tremendously.  She still struggles sometimes with the noises that babies make, or with kids her own age in a play group setting - but she has come such a very long way.  She is trying to work through her issues and figure things out in that cute little head of hers.  After my sister was here about a week, Ella started changing the way she reacted to Bridger who is 3 months old.  Instead of getting upset or mocking his crying sounds, she began to say, "Bridger just needs his paci...or a bottle of juice."  When we could get my 3 1/2 year old nephew, Rylan, to sit still next to her for a few minutes...Ella would run her hands over his arms and legs and get a feel for his size and shape.  This seemed to help her tolerate him a little better when he would run into a room or bounce right next to her on the couch.  Kids are so unpredictable, and I can only imagine how she feels not having the visual connect to the sounds & movements that they make.  This is why I am so incredibly proud of her accomplishments over the past couple of months.  I see her learning, trying to interact and behave properly in situations, and trying to understand all that I am telling her all the time as I constantly explain what is happening.  And she is only TWO!  Wow - she leaves me speechless and amazed lately.  This is such a FUN as well as frustrating time in her life right now as she attempts to figure out the big world and just how she fits into it.  We laugh, we cry, we get mad, we are silly, we learn, we grow, we fall down and we get back up.  The long and winding road of parenthood & raising children...mostly a beautiful path, but as always there will be some thorny bushes to get around!! 

Last night I was standing at the sink doing dishes and Ella was standing next to me, opening and closing two of the kitchen drawers.  She loves to pull the drawers or cabinets open, and then push them shut as she says, “pull – push” or “open – close.”  I was just humming to myself and then realized that I had been singing out loud.  I was singing, “Oh, what heights we’ll hit…” - you know the theme song to The Bugs Bunny show – “Overture.”  I must have trailed off because all of the sudden I hear Ella chime in – clear as a bell – “on wifth da show, dis is it!”  I could not believe my ears!!  Of course Erik was in the garage and missed it, so I just stood there and looked at her with tears in my eyes.  Erik and I sing that song sometimes because it reminds us of a classic Seinfeld episode where Jerry sings it to Elaine right before they go into the theatre to see the opera Pagliacci.  Ella must have just picked it up and stored it in her little brain somewhere.  I got her to sing it again for Erik when he came inside so I totally have a witness.  He loved it just as much as I did!

Ella is turning 2 on Monday and I have been working with her on learning that she is two years old so she can answer people when they ask how old she is.  Which almost everyone we come into contact with does at some point!  So, Ella and I are at the Party store yesterday, getting some supplies for her birthday bash this weekend.  We are in the checkout line and Ella is starting to get a little loud as she is ready to get out of the cart and move around.  (Were we really there that long?!) I tell her that it will be just a few more minutes and then I will put her back in her carseat so we can head home.  “IN THE CAR!” she yells at the top of her lungs, smiling away and obviously very proud to be a little loud mouth two year old.  The clerk said to Ella, “I assume it is your birthday coming up soon…” and Ella yells, “I’M TWO!!!!!”  It was so cute.  I am not entirely sure yet why she feels the need to yell some of her words, but we are working on learning the difference between an “outside voice” and an “inside voice” – which she seems to want nothing to do with right now!

Last week Ella and I stayed a few nights up at my parents house while Erik was out of town and it was extremely beautiful out, so we filled up Grandma’s new blow up pool on the back porch.  Ella loves the water and we have had her in swimming lessons since she was 6 months old.  I plunked her down in the little pool with some measuring cups to play with and sat back to catch some rays myself.  In her sweet Ella voice that just melts my heart, she yells, “THIS IS FUN!” as she splashed both hands in the water and got herself totally drenched.  I had never heard her say “fun” before and it has been so rewarding to see how appropriately she uses her words & phrases lately.  She is a girl who knows what she wants, exactly when she wants to do it, with whom and for how long.  She likes to think that she is running the show – and sometimes I humor her because she is so darn irresistible! 

Here are a few more things that Ella does right now that make our day J

-          She will run her fingers through my hair and comb it when I ask her to.  Mommy loves this!!

-          She will sing songs to herself a lot, but also sing two on request.  Baa Baa Black Sheep and This Old Man.  She knows all the words and she does not like to be interrupted while singing.  Let a girl finish!!

-          She is walking everywhere inside of our house.  She trails the walls and is really mapping out her surroundings.  You can almost see her little brain at work.  It is amazing to watch her go from one room to the next, or up the stairs, or across a wide open doorway or archway.  She moves really FAST and we have had to put up gates near the stairs already!

-          She is one of the most loving little children that I know.  Grandma taught her to wrap both of her arms around your neck to give you a big hug and she will do this when you ask for it.  (I ask for it a lot!)  She will also give big kisses, but not all the time – only on her own schedule.  And there is no rhyme or reason to this schedule.  And if you are not paying attention when she tries to lean in and you miss her attempt to kiss you, well, good luck trying to get another one.  Forget it.  (Angie experienced this!)

-          We are talking A LOT about her baby brother lately and she will sign “baby” with her hands together, rocking her arms back and forth.  I ask her if she is going to love him when he comes and if she will give him big kisses and hugs.  She leans in every time with her mouth puckered up.  I am convinced that she will be an amazing big sister.  I am aware that it will take time for her to get used to his noises, his cries, his presence in general.  Once she realizes that he is not leaving at the end of the day, I am hoping she just accepts him as part of the family and does not try to smack him upside the head too much.  (I have a brother, so I know the urge and desire is always there!)

-          She has been sleeping for 10-12 hours at night.  Yippee!  Ella has not been the easiest child when it comes to “bedtime” and it has taken us all two years of her life to get her on a somewhat regular sleep schedule.  She used to just fight sleep so hard and get so upset at night time.  There was a lot of crying, both on her part and on ours.  Now we seem to be in a great place, and she really understands her bedtime routine and does not fight it so much anymore.  Bath - PJ’s on – nighttime bottle – brush teeth - maybe a story or a night time song – a prayer – then to sleep!  What a difference a good night’s sleep makes for Mommy and Daddy J

-          Her language has taken off in a way I could only dream about.  Everyone – friends, therapists, etc – told me that when she started walking more, her speech would probably follow suit.  Boy, were they ever right!  Not only does she love to repeat things that you say, or that she hears on TV, she also uses words in phrases.  She asks for what she wants (sometimes she needs to be reminded to ask “nicely!’”), she tells you how she feels either in signs or with words (ex:  hungry, thirsty, all done, more, etc.) and she talks about all of the people that she loves.  Some of her favorite things to say are:

- "Hubba Bubba Dada!"

- "RIGHT NOW!"

- "Upstairs Dada (or mama), Ella's room"

- "I know!"

- "Oh my goodness!"

- "Voom, Boom, Zoom"

- Currently she is a bona fide Daddy’s girl.  She goes absolutely nuts when he gets home from work.  She will hear the back door open and will whisper, “Dada’s home” with her little toothy grin.  She always wants Erik to hold her when he is around and she will climb on him and snuggle into him in ways she won’t do with anyone else.  I adore watching them together.  It is hard to put it into adequate words that would do it justice.  It is very special.

-          Since I am the one who gets her out of bed most days of the week, she has started saying, “good morning mama!” when she is up and ready for me to pick her up out of her crib.  Usually she needs a good five or ten minutes after she wakes up to just roll around in her crib and chatter to herself before she wants anyone to touch her.  Exhibit A – her wild bed head in the crazy hair gallery.  I have never seen anything like it in my life.  You almost have to see it in person to get the full effect.

Ella lives her little two year old life to the fullest.  She is the happiest person I know and wakes up each and every day with a huge smile on her face, ready to take on the world.  She is the most passionate kid I’ve ever met.  She loves hard, laughs loud, cries strong and lives big.  She is basically your typical two year old that throws tantrums for no apparent reason, gets into everything and acts like she is 6 years old.  To us, even though she has her differences, she is no different then any of our friends’ children.  She might walk a little slower, but she will walk right by your side.  She might not always push the ball straight back to you when playing catch, but she will want to be playing.  She might not read the same as other kids, but she loves to read books in her own way right now, always turning them upside down when she is done and “reading” them backwards.  She might not be able to connect with you through eye contact, but when she reaches out to touch you or talks to you, you feel a much deeper connection.  It has been said that “the eyes are the windows to the soul.”   I beg to differ.  You do not need eyes for people to be able to see the beauty that lies within a person.  Ella wears hers right on her sleeve.  Spend some time with her, and you can’t deny the essence of her sweet spirit.  She is a blessing in our lives and we are so thankful that two precious years ago, she arrived on the scene, as G.Pa says, “not yet 5 pounds and a whimper.”  She has grown not only physically, but mentally, emotionally and spiritually as well.  We are so proud of the little loud mouth two year old she has become!!  Check back next week for pictures of her big birthday bash…