On Saturday, February 23, Erik and I will celebrate our 6^th wedding anniversary.  6 years to the day that my mom was giving her toast at our wedding reception…and Clifford the Big Red Dog strolls into the room to thunderous applause and cheers from our guests.  (I suppose that statement deserves a little back-story for some people J) 

In the summer of 2000, I was an intern at our local PBS TV station in downtown Toledo.  We were about to air a new popular children’s show, Clifford the Big Red Dog, and we were promoting it like crazy.  The Toledo Mud Hens are our local Triple A Baseball Team (the AAA affiliate for the Detroit Tigers) and we thought it would be a great idea to have Clifford appear at a Sunday afternoon game to get all the kids excited about watching the show.  What a perfect idea!  When the Clifford suit came from the book company, we quickly realized that there were not going to be many people that would fit comfortably in the suit.  It was much smaller then we originally thought and all of the sudden…all eyes were on me.  “Jill, why don’t you do it?  Have you ever been a mascot before?”  WHAT??  ME??  Nope, no mascot experience.  However, as I was simply an unpaid intern just trying to earn credit for school and possibly land a job after I graduated, I agreed to don the Clifford suit at the Mud Hens game that Sunday.  Are any of you reading this trying to lose weight right now?  Stop the dieting and put away your running shoes, because I have a sure-fire way to melt the pounds off.  Just dress in a big, hot, furry dog suit with attachable “head” included on a 95 degree afternoon in the middle of July and stand out in the sunshine at a baseball game waving at everyone like a crazy fool.  Lean over all day, hugging kids who think you are the “real deal” and squeeze their sweaty arms around you as they pose for pictures.  Don’t forget to run on the dusty field in between innings doing cartwheels (yes, they made me do that and thank God the head stayed on) and nearly passing out due to heat exhaustion.  I dropped 10 pounds by 4:00 that afternoon.  The Mud Hens were gracious enough to allow “Clifford” to come into the front office for a much needed break every now and then.  I would take the gargantuan dog head off and one of the ticket guys would spray my face with a cool water bottle.  I also re-packed the ice vest they had me wearing under the suit, although it did little to keep me cool that day.   Erik was in charge of the ticket office at the time (back when the Hens still played at the Ned) and during one of my breaks, I remember thinking he was really handsome.  We did not speak at all, and who are we kidding, I was suffering from heat stroke anyway, so I did not think much of him as I drove home from the ballpark that night.  (Possibly the skinniest I have ever been in my life - Whoo-Hoo!) 

About a month later, a group of us from the restaurant I was working at were out and I saw some guys I recognized from the Mud Hens.  I walked up to say hello and all I got in return were six blank faces.  They had absolutely no idea who I was!  I said, “It’s me. Clifford!” and they were all like, “Oh yeah!  Clifford…now I remember.”  (When asked what could be an important decision I have made in my life, I will admit that choosing to be Clifford that day definitely ranks pretty high up there!) I smiled at Erik and realized how handsome he really was, remembering him from that day at the ballpark.  To make an awfully long story somewhat short, we hung out that night…and have been together each and every night since then.  People may think we are silly, but we truly knew within days that we were meant for each other.  Maybe even sooner than that.  We had a true fairy tale romance from the start.  He revealed to me while we were dating that he remembered thinking how cute I was the day I was Clifford.  Remember now…I was sweaty, wearing no make-up, hair slicked back wet from the spray bottle, red fuzz clinging to me everywhere…not to mention wearing a big red dog suit.  Bless his heart, I thought, he either has real bad vision or he likes girls in dog suits.  I was happy to find out later that he just liked me…not so much the suit.  Whew!  Thank God.   

We were engaged by May of 2001 – he asked me on a boat in Lake Michigan as we toured the city of Chicago on a beautiful, sunny evening – and we dove head first into the wedding planning.  We did not see any reason for waiting too long – we were totally ready!  (My parents might have a different story since we planned our wedding a mere 6 months after my sister’s, but they were very happy for us & supportive of our plans!!  Thanks mom and dad!)  All my life I thought I wanted a summer or fall wedding, but we had to plan around the baseball season, as well as Opening Day of the Hens brand new ballpark that was scheduled in April of 2002.  We opted for February of that year and prayed all of our out of town guests would not have weather related issues getting out to Ohio in the middle of winter.  February 23 finally came and it was the only 50+ degree day that month.  Not a snowflake in sight, clear blue skies, cold but not bone-chilling.  Absolutely perfect!  The wedding was beautiful and after all of the guest greeting and picture taking, we were ready to party!!  It was at our reception that my mom and Erik’s dad had a little surprise waiting for us.  I still can’t believe they pulled one over on us!  My mom’s toast was more like a story of how we met – and you can imagine my shock when they re-inacted that day at the ballpark with my brother in a Clifford suit they rented and my brother-in-law in the “Muddy the Mud Hen” mascot outfit.  Muddy asked Clifford to marry him and after someone put a white vail on Clifford’s head, he and Muddy walked off into the sunset together.  Bet our guests never thought they would be entertained quite like that!!  It was awesome and Erik and I both teared up as Clifford and Muddy stuck around to pose for pictures with guests and hug all the kids that were now thinking this was definitely turning out to be the coolest wedding in the world!  And for us…it most certainly was.  Magical.  Extraordinary.  Perfect J 

Erik and I chose to write our own vows that day…and I am still so glad we decided to do that.  It was so intensely beautiful and intimate to hear words that he chose to write to me…words that had deep personal meaning attached to them.  Every now and then, I break out my “wedding box” and read our sacred vows over again.  Part of Erik’s vow to me reads like this:  “I promise to be a loving leader, as God intended for me, to speak and to listen, to walk beside you and be your best friend.  When you fall, I will catch you.  When you are worried, I will relax you.  When you cry, I will hold you.  And when you laugh, I will share your joy...”   We have spent the last six years sharing each others joys, sorrows, happiness, tears, high points, low points, and all of the wonderful and painful things in between.  The good times and the bad.  Through sickness and health.   

But do you know what was NOT part of our wedding vows that day?  Erik did not vow that he would have the right words to say to me when we lost our first baby to miscarriage.  He did not vow that he would have the strength to endure not only the loss of one baby…but two…and then three.  He did not vow that he would stick beside me as we endured several failed fertility treatments.  He did not vow that he would put up with the rage those treatments seemed to bring out in me and he definitely did not vow that he would know what to say to me when we realized that parenthood might not ever be a reality for us.  We did not vow to each other that we would be OK if we finally had our prayers answered with the blessing of a baby…yet came to find that she was born with a very special need that we could never have imagined.  I don’t remember Erik vowing to me at our wedding that he would be a rock of strength and encouragement to me as we accepted our daughter’s blindness not as a tragic event…but as a beautiful chance to let others be strengthened by the way God orchestrated Ella’s birth and her life.  We did not vow any of those things to each other six years ago.  But in fact, that has been the path our marriage has taken.  And that is one of the many wonderful things about God.  If He brings you to it, He will bring you through it.  All you have to do is trust Him.  As easy or as difficult as that may be.  At the end of our vows, we promised to each other that “with God’s help” we would be faithful and true to each other “no matter what the uncertainties of the future might bring.”  We could not have known that day six years ago how incredibly blessed we would be and how thankful we would be for the absolutely amazing life we share today.  I can’t wait to see what the future has in store for us – it is hard to believe that it can get any better than this!! 

Thank you Erik for being my perfect match, my better half, my rock, my strength & my best friend.  Thank you for being the husband women only dream about and the very best Daddy that Ella could ever hope to have.  We are the two luckiest girls in the world & we love you so much!! 

(On the videos page you will find a new video commemorating our past six years together.  The first song is the one that was sung on our wedding day.  What a great life we have!!)