At the close of the Extreme Makeover – Home Edition episode a couple of weeks ago featuring our friends the Hughes family, Patrick Henry played and sang a Brooks & Dunn song that I know he loves so much.  It is called “Believe.” Some of the lyrics read:
I can't quote the book
The chapter or the verse
You can't tell me it all ends
In a slow ride in a hearse
You know I'm more and more convinced
The longer that I live
Yeah, this can't be
No, this can't be
No, this can't be all there isWhen I raise my hands, bow my head
I'm finding more and more truth in the words written in red
They tell me that there's more to life than just what I can see
I believe…Oh, I believe 

Patrick played and sang that song when he and his father visited our area a few months ago and I loved hearing him sing it in person just as much as I enjoyed seeing him on that show.  My apologies to Brooks and Dunn, but Patrick’s version of this song is my favorite.  I love the passion with which he sings these words.  Patrick Henry’s passion and his attitude in general are so contagious.  Infectious.  I want to surround myself with people like Patrick Henry all the time – encouraging, supportive, inspiring, and enthusiastic.  What an amazing outlook on life he has embraced.  His rendition of “Believe” got me thinking about how blessed I am to truly know that there really is more to this life.  More than this earth can offer us.  More waiting for us in that wonderful and sometimes mysterious place called heaven.  I know this because, as the song says, I believe.  I choose to believe.  Every minute of every day I make that choice.  

The song talks about “finding more and more truth in the words written in red.”  In the Bible, the words written in red are the words Jesus actually spoke when he was on the earth as a man, experiencing life as we do.  John 1:14 says, “The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us.”  Those words He spoke are full of encouragement, support, inspiration, enthusiasm.  Full of promise and hope.  So when the Bible tells me that Jesus said in Matthew 10:32, “Whoever acknowledges me before men, I will also acknowledge him before my Father in heaven.  But whoever disowns me before men, I will disown him before my Father in heaven,” I choose to believe that is the real, raw, honest, nothing else matters truth.  That if we choose to believe in His Word, realize we are separated from Him by our sins, receive Him into our hearts as our Savior and try our best everyday to live for Him – then that extraordinary place called heaven becomes a reality for us.  No more wondering…does it really, truly exist?  Do I think I might be going there?  Have I done enough good in my life to get me in?  Ephesians 2:8 says, “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast.”  The truth is, as many people unfortunately think, doing all the “good” in the world is just not enough to save you a spot in heaven.  In what might be the most popular Bible verse of all time, John 3:16, we are promised, “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have everlasting life.”  Eternal life in heaven, with God, where there is no hurt, pain or suffering.  Where broken human bodies are healed and replaced with new perfect heavenly bodies.   

Eternal life has always been somewhat of a mystery to me.  I have read the Bible, front to back, end to end, and I still have trouble wrapping my head around the concept.  I realize that God does not expect us to ever understand it while we are still on this earth – that is where faith comes in.  As Max Lucado writes in one of his books, “It’s Not about Me”; “Eternity makes no sense to us, the time-bound.  You might as well be handed a book written in kanji (unless of course, you are Japanese!)  You look at the characters and all you see is zigzagged lines.  You shake your head.  This language finds no home in your heart.”  You just have to be faithful.  As believers, we are commanded in Matthew 28:19 to “Go and make disciples of all nations...”  Basically, once you believe for yourself – GO AND TELL OTHERS!  “…teach them to obey everything I have commanded you.”  Share the good news!  Thanks in large part to my wonderful parents, (and an amazing godly man named Paul Walberg who was my youth pastor) I cannot remember one minute of my life where I did not know the truth of God’s Word.  I learned about it as a child and made a decision to give my life to Him at the young age of 10 or 11.  As I grew up, truly “living for Him” became increasingly more challenging for me as the pressures and the temptations of the world crept in.  Sharing my faith – really getting out there and telling people about what I believe – has always been a struggle for me.  Was I ashamed?  No.  Did I lack boldness?  Maybe.  Was I simply afraid of what people would say or think?  Probably.  I tend to be one that wants to live it more through my words and actions – the things I say and the way I treat people – then waving my Bible on a street corner and screaming from the mountaintops that “Jesus is Lord!”    

I wonder why I have been so hesitant for so many years.  Maybe it has been some of the times in my life when my actions and words were NOT matching up with the beliefs deep in my heart.  The last thing on my mind was sharing my faith in Jesus.  Looking like a hypocrite and a coward are not my ideas of a good time.  Yet despite our failures…God loves us anyway.  He is not fooled by appearances.  We cannot fake our behavior to impress Him.  He knows that inside the best of us lurk dark feelings that only He can deal with.  As believers, we will stumble.  We will fall.  There will be times where we make the wrong choices.  Say the wrong thing.  Do the wrong thing.  Screw up royally.  Guess what?  God forgives.  God forgets.  You can get right with Him again if you want to.  That is one of the many, many amazing things about God.  He will meet you where you are.  Time and time again.  I am thankful that while God accepts us for who we are – He is not satisfied to leave us that way.  He wants to change our hearts.  He wants us to have a personal relationship with Him.  He wants us to experience salvation so we can relish the wonder and glory that is eternal life in heaven.  If I had to get up every morning thinking, “Is this REALLY all there is?” I imagine I’d be pretty darn depressed.  We are lucky that He gave us such a beautiful world, however imperfect because of sin, to experience during our time here.  But thank God this is not all there is!!  John 14:2-3 tells us, “For I go to prepare a place for you…I will come again and receive you to myself that where I am, there you may be also.”  The real prize is in heaven.  That is where we will get down to business and do some real living.  Living for and worshipping Him.  To that end, we should make the best of our time here on this earth.  Follow His commandments.  Try to love others with the love of Jesus.  Share the good news of salvation with as many people as you possibly can.  Maybe you are the only person in someone’s life that might take the time to show them the love of Jesus.  Don’t pass up any more opportunities.  Don’t be ashamed.  As the popular children’s song says, “This little light of mine.  I’m gonna let it shine.  Everywhere I go, I’m gonna let it shine.”  Don’t let the sun go down on one more day without making sure people know where you stand and who you choose to serve in this life.  It might not be the “easy” choice, as far as the world is concerned, but it is the ONLY choice you can make that truly pays eternal dividends. 

I thank God daily for the gift that is my daughter, as her life has strengthened my faith in ways I could never imagine.  There was a Dr. in the NICU who approached us the day after Ella was born, test results in hand, waiting to break the news to us for the first time.  He stood in front of us, paused, and said, “My deepest sympathies on your tragedy.”  Never in my life will I ever forget the way those words stung me.  The dictionary definition of tragedy is “an event resulting in great loss and misfortune.”  To this Doctor, the fact that Ella was born blind and possibly with other issues as well was simply a great loss in his mind.  A terrible misfortune.  At the time, I was completely livid that he would choose to say something like that to us.  I had just given birth to a beautiful baby girl who was breathing, moving, crying…needing to be held and loved.  So…she’s blind?  Possibly more?  It is not what we expected to hear, but we will deal with it, right?  She is our baby.  Our brand new beautiful little girl.  I found absolutely nothing tragic about that fact. 

Later, in my hospital room, as the reality of Ella’s condition finally set in, I realized that if it was not for our faith in a sovereign God – I easily could have seen our situation as a tragedy.  It was a great loss.  Loss of dreams…loss of the bliss that is supposed to surround the birth of your first child…loss of having our prayers for a healthy baby answered.  It certainly could have been seen as a great misfortune.   However, as deep as my flesh was grieving that day, my heart was slowly finding peace.  I knew that even though it might have seemed that God had not answered our prayers; that our requests and what we had received were not matching up…He had indeed been listening to us.  He just had higher plans in mind.  As difficult as it was, we were willing to trust Him to find out what those plans were.  I remember frantically asking my parents to find a bible.  I raced through the pages, looking for the verse that was playing over and over in my head.  The one where Jesus, after crying out to God to spare his life, finally realized that his Father would indeed sacrifice him for the sake of the entire world.  In Matthew 26:39, Jesus, knowing he will be hung on a cross to die, tells his father – “Not my will, but thy will be done.”  We wrote that verse on a piece of purple paper and hung it on the wall in our hospital room the day we received the news of Ella’s condition.  Not our plans, but your plans, Lord.  If we were ever going to find the strength to get through this, we were going to fully trust God to give it to us.  Whatever ways He chose to do that.  I look back now and think, while our struggle might seem to pale in comparison to what some people experience in life, the following might have been true.  “Is there any chance, any possibility that you have been selected to struggle for God’s glory?  Have you been granted, for Christ’s sake, not only to believe in Him, but also to suffer for His sake?”  Max Lucado goes on in the book, “It’s Not About Me” to say this:  “Your faith in the face of suffering cranks up the volume of God’s song.  God will use whatever he wants to display His glory.  Heavens and stars.  History and nations.  People and problems.”   

A little blind girl from Ohio?  God allowed us to see Ella’s birth not as a tragedy, but as an amazing opportunity.  Could He have allowed Ella to be born with eyes?  To spare us from all the shock and pain surrounding her birth?  Of course He could.  But He didn’t.   He chose to allow us to use our suffering for His glory.  Let me be clear on this.  We chose to trust Him.  We didn’t have to.  Do you know how many people asked us if we were mad at God?   Don’t you think it would have been easier for us to just blame God for “doing” this to us?  We could have cried for days, “Why us? Why?  Why?”  But…we already knew why.  We knew that our pain had a purpose.  And that was only because God gave us the peace that passes all understanding.  We could not have done it on our own.  We still wished that our daughter would just open her eyes and finally see us one day.  We were still afraid that we might not know how to care for her properly, give her the right instruction in life, teach her about happiness.  We chose to be faithful and cling to the belief that God’s higher plans would be revealed to us in time.   

And now, at 20 months old, Ella’s fierce spirit reminds us daily what a sovereign God we serve.  Who knew I would have created a website for Ella where I could share such personal feelings with so many?  Who knew I would be given such a platform to share about our story and our faith?  Well, it’s simple.  God did.  Because of the peace only He can give, we chose to make our hospital room that day a showcase for Him.  The nurses came in and saw our verse hung on the wall.  “Wow”, they said.  “What faith you must have.”  Let me be clear again.  Our faith does not come from anything in this world.  It does not come from something that inspired us on an episode of Oprah.  You will not be able to find it reading the latest popular self-help book.  It only comes from trusting in an all-knowing, all-loving God.  God does not have an ego problem.  He does not reveal His glory for His good.  We need to witness it for ours.   

If Ella decides one day that she wants to follow Him, desires to make Him Lord of her life; then our work as parents is done.  That is our greatest desire for Ella.  Whatever else she might accomplish in her life will just be beautiful accents to her salvation.  I will always be thankful to my cousin Corey for pointing out a sublime thought when Ella was just a few weeks old, “Just think” he said, “when Ella gets to heaven, the first person she will ever see is Jesus.”   I cannot imagine a more perfect sight than that.   

Time to let your little light shine J  

PS:  When I worked for the Fellowship of Christian Athletes, they came out with a great link on their website that explains salvation using sports terms that many people can relate to.  If you are interested, you can check it out at http://www.morethanwinning.org/.  If you like what you read…I’d love to hear about it J