Ella and I met Erik for lunch today at Panera.  Nothing out of the ordinary...we like to meet him for lunch during homestands to spend a little extra time with him.  But today, as Ella sat in her high chair at the end of the table and inhaled potato chips like they were going out of style, I realized something.  As I looked at her and Erik, my heart began to swell, tears welled in my eyes and a lump formed in my throat.  All of my life, I dreamed of meeting the right person, falling in love, getting married, starting a family and being a stay at home mom to my children.  I realized that I have been lucky enough to accomplish not just one or two, but all of the things I once dreamed about.  I looked at Ella and realized that she is such a beautiful combination of the two of us.  She has my machine gun laugh, but Erik's cute space between her two front teeth.  She shares his fierce passion, but seems to also share my spirit of silliness.  She definitely has inherited my elf ears, but makes the exact same little pouty face that he did when he was young.  Sometimes I tell Erik that I feel like I am going to break into pieces with how much I love Ella.  Like my heart is simply too big for my chest anymore and might burst out of my shirt at any given moment.  He knows exactly what I mean because he feels the same way.   Having your own children is the most wonderful, most rewarding, most difficult and most heart wrenching experience a person can have, in my opinion.  It can be cruel and beautiful and magical and exhausting all at once.  I am cherishing my role as a parent these days, just sitting back and thanking God for all of the wonderful things that make my life so full.  Thanking Him for both the terrific and the terrible.  Both the pain and the prizes.  The good, the bad, and the ugly.  It all combines to form this life we have - and I cannot imagine it any other way. 

While Erik's parents were visiting at the end of April, Ella decided that it was time she learned to say her name.  Erik just asked her one night, "What's your name?" and she replied, "A-ya."  It is priceless.  I posted a new video of her talking to Erik and answering his questions.  She is now in full-on "repeating" mode.  I love, love, love it so much!!  I have been waiting for a long time for her to start using her little voice and now that she has found it - she talks more and more each day.  The best was the other day when she was playing with her Bruin Bear (who is voice activated).  He asks questions and if you don't answer in time, he says, "I guess you're tired.  Let's rest now.  Bye-Bye."  Ella responded "See ya" when he said bye bye and I had just taught her to say that like two days ago!!  Man, is she picking things up FAST! 

Ella is still not walking totally independantly in an open space - she will trail the couch, the table, the wall, etc. - but seems unsure yet when she "lets go."  She has not been a huge fan of using her walker lately, but the other day it was absolutely beautiful outside (almost 70 degrees!) and I had an idea.  We took her walker out on our very long driveway and I stood beside her with the bag of mini-marshmallows.  My standby for bribery - it works like a charm!   I told her that she had to stand up at her walker for one marshmallow, which she did, and then she had to take some steps before she could get anymore.  She walked with her walker from our garage to the sidewalk and back 3 times!!  Only stopping to lean her belly up against the bar and clap wildly for more marshmallows.  She looked so independant, with the sunshine on her face and the breeze blowing her hair around.  It was a big day for us!!  Now, on to getting her confidence up to start "letting go" more often...

I am also so glad that we started taking Ella to baseball games when she was only a few weeks old.  She absolutely loves all things Mud Hens and I have a feeling it is just a matter of time before she is a true ballpark rat.  Opening Day for the Hens this year was April 3rd and after snoozing away all of the pre-game activities, Ella woke up just in time for the first pitch and right before the clouds rolled in to block the sun and make it really cool in the seating bowl.  We took our party of Erik's parents, my dad, Ella and I up to the offices where we warmed up and still got to keep an eye on the game through the long windows that overlook the field.  Ella did so great the entire time - she only buried her head in our chests when the clapping got too loud, or the kids sitting behind us started screaming like you are supposed to do at baseball games.  This is going to be a fun season for us, and I am really looking forward to many more games with my girl.  Bring on the warmer weather, of course, and we are there!!