Resting place
posted on 09/19/2007
We had a rough night last night...Allana is getting a head cold, perhaps because of the weather change here; perhaps because we're back to school. Either way, she is having a hard time sleeping at night because her nose is stopped up and she can't breathe well. Even the humidifer is not helping.
So about 4 a.m., she was crying again, and she just couldn't get herself back to sleep. I went in, checked for fever, changed her diaper, and sat down in the rocking chair with her. As soon as I sat down and wrapped her in my arms, she stopped crying and her whole body relaxed. She cuddled her head into my shoulder, and took a deep breath.
I was her safe resting place. And as tired as I was, as much as I wanted to be asleep in my bed, I knew that our rocking chair was the place I was supposed to be right then. She was exhausted and feeling yucky and disoriented, and she needed to be where someone loved her best of all; what a privilege that I can be that place for my daughter.
Dan loves me more than his own life...our extended family loves me...I have friends who love me like family...but no one needs me like Allana does, especially when she's sick in the middle of the night. Sometimes that need feels like an overwhelming responsibility, but in the middle of the night last night, I saw it for what it was - an honor. She is my treasure.
I was so full of joy as I held her close last night that I wept over her and the miracle her life is. Scripture tells us that God rejoices over us with singing...I know that the love I feel for my daughter is only a reflection of the love He feels for me. And I can walk around and act independent and hold his hand as I walk through each day, but oh how I long sometimes to climb in His lap and bury my face in His shoulder and let Him rock me. What a precious Father we have. What a sweet resting place He is for us.
