I know that security has to be tight at the airports now, but I absolutely hate dropping people off at the curb.  What I would have given to have gone inside with Dan & Allana today, to have waited with them at their gate until the last possible minute, to sneak in another hour's worth of hugs and kisses. 

I did good, though.  You would have been proud of me.  I knew that my attitude about them leaving would determine how Lana felt about it.  If she senses that I am even the least little bit upset about something, she falls apart, so that meant no tears for me this morning.  Yesterday, I made up silly songs about she and Daddy going to Alabama, and Mommy coming later.  Last night, we prayed about their trip.  And this morning was very exciting...I kept it fun and upbeat all the way to the airport.  And so she was fine.  And Dan was okay, just a little teary.  And I was fine, until they walked away, and I could hear her little voice saying, "Mommy?" as in, "Mommy, I can't see you?"  I was wise enough to not put on my mascara this morning, so I cried all the way to school (those deep sobs that make your chest hurt), and then I got it together in the parking lot and went inside for the day.

Backing up a bit, though....as I drove to school this morning and prayed travelling mercies over my husband and daughter, prayed for this time to be an investment into their relationship apart from me, the Lord impressed two things on me.

The first thing the Lord shared with me is how hard it must be for our parents to let us live here, so far away from them.  To say nothing of our plans to go overseas at some point.  No matter how old Allana gets, she will always be my little girl, and this morning, God reminded me that even though living apart from our parents is His will for us right now, I should be very gentle with our parents, very understanding about the loss they experience when we leave.  We are still their babies, still the ones they gave birth to and raised and cherished and kissed and spanked and tickled and loved for over two decades, before we decided we were grown up enough to leave their nest.

The second thing the Lord impressed upon me was to not run past the realization that my attitude about things directly correlates to my child's attitude about things.  She learns whether or not something is going to be fun or miserable based on my facial expressions and emotion.  She decides whether something is good or bad based on my reponse to that thing.  I don't want to forget this lesson the Lord is teaching me.  When the time comes that she exhibits a behavior or attitude that is not pleasing to me or to the Lord, I want to remember to search myself, my own life.  Is she simply reflecting me and my attitudes?

So do you have a child who is disrespectful to their teacher or other authority figure?  One who shouts or kicks?  One who will not obey until threatened or forced?  One who makes ugly facial expressions?  One who does not treat their other parent with respect and honor?  One who does not complete their work, or who does not complete it well?  One who does not clean up after himself?  On and on the list could go of sinful behaviors children exhibit.  I challenge you to ask yourself...is it a learned behavior?  It's not always; children are sinful from birth and sometimes they do not learn those behaviors from us.  But sometimes they do, and before we begin working in our children's behaviour, we should carefully examine our own.