Today I am 34 weeks pregnant with Tucker.  I'm feeling him so much more strongly now!  He loves to hang out on my bladder.  It's so funny, I can feel him turn and then I'll suddenly have to pee RIGHT AWAY.  

If the old wives' tale is true, then he's going to have LOTS of hair - I've had crazy indigestion, especially when I lay down.  It's fun to think about what kind of hair he'll have!  Lana was born with dark hair, and then by her first birthday, it had lightened up and turned curly.  Now she's got a head full of ringlets.  I can't wait to see what his hair looks like!!  And his toes....and his nose....and his eyes....oh, I can't believe I'm having a son!!

Just in the past week, I've started to FEEL more pregnant.  I'm just heavier and moving slower, and everything seems to take a lot of energy.  My sleep at night is restless because I can't get comfy.  I am more emotional, and have way less energy.  I feel like I could sleep all the time.  

Nesting has begun in earnest....all of a sudden, I feel like I'm running out of time and have to get everything done right. this. minute.  It's so funny - I know I'm acting crazy about something, but I just can't help it!  Dan has been very accommodating, and is doing everything he can to help get us ready.

Lana & I have checked out and read TONS of children's books from the library about being a big sister and having a new baby.  She's really getting excited - I hope she continues to feel that way after he arrives!!  I'm trying to slowly let her know about the "rules."  She can only hold him after she's asked mommy, she can't give him anything to eat or drink without asking mommy or daddy, etc.  She really is such a nurturer - just a first born girl in every sense of the word!

Several people have asked me if I'm getting nervous as my due date approaches, especially about delivery issues.  The truth is, I'm not.  I know the Lord ordains each of our days.  As scary and horrible as Lana's delivery was, I know that the Lord was sovereign in that.  He had lots to teach me, and surely something to teach the doctors that cared for me!  I know the same will be true for Tucker.  He has placed our family in Raleigh, delivering in the research Triangle, for a very specific reason.  If the worst case scenario happens and I again go through some of those same delivery/postpartum complications, I am in a wonderful place, rich with medical knowledge and personnel.  I really am at peace with this.

The only source of anxiety I am experiencing right now is about Lana and what our plans are for her when I go into labor with Tucker.  Our family is 12 hours away, and will not be able to get to us any quicker than that.  Lana thrives on routine and knowing what to expect, so the thought of having to take her and drop her off at a friend's house, possibly in the middle of the night, makes me worry.  I know she'll be okay, but it makes me cry to think about her being anxious, or being so out of her routine that she doesn't sleep well and starts having meltdowns and needs me....on and on my mind wants to take me.  I have been praying about this for weeks, and trust that the Lord knows what we should do.  Right now, I am praying specifically that the Lord will send us someone who is willing to come stay with her in our house, especially if it's the middle of the night.  He may or may not answer that prayer; either way, I am choosing to walk in the knowledge that He knows the desires of my heart.  He knows what my little girl needs most.  

Please pray with me over this....and if any of you have had children away from family, I'd love to hear your stories/suggestions!