Tuesday

At least I THINK it's Tuesday. My days are all blurring together right now.

I haven't posted much lately because my little guy has been eating constantly. It's like he went from 3 ounces to 5 ounces overnight, and he still wants to suck some more. You can definately see that his cheeks, legs and arms have beefed up. My little skinny guy from the NICU is only a memory now.

You may be wondering how I know he went from 3 to 5 ounces if I'm breastfeeding. Well, I'm no longer breastfeeding. The pain was excrutiating and it was getting to the point where I was dreading any time he was awake. In fact, pumping started to feel pleasant compared to BFing. Given a choice between putting my nipple in his mouth or a bear trap, I would have gleefully selected the bear trap.

I felt extremely guilty about deciding to stop - in fact I still do a bit. But, I don't want to dread the time with my son. I want to enjoy it. After all, it's only a few weeks and it's back to work and I'll have to turn his care over to someone else. :( Vince and I tried to make the budget work, but it just won't for right now. But, we think outside care will be a temporary solution - maybe only through the end of February. So, if we start the last week of November, that's only a little over three months.

Now I'm focused on getting my girls back to their previous state. I'm on day three of quitting cold turkey. I had tried to pump some in the last few days, but was getting nothing and was still engorged, so I figured I just needed to ride it out. I won't lie - this hurts too. But I have to believe this will soon pass. In the meantime I'm using the cabbage treatment. It's very strange walking around with lunch in your bra, but it seems to help.