So, I've been a bit quiet lately. That's mostly because I've been doing a lot of research and studying. I've also engaged some adult XXYs in discussion in an attempt to better understand Michael. It hasn't been easy having these discussions.

When we first learned of Michael's condition, it really shook us to the core. Some of the basic beliefs that both my husband and I have held for as long as we can remember are being challenged. I'm trying to reconcile what I've been taught with what I now know. I don't know if I will ever have an answer as to why this happened (the cosmic why - not the medical why) and I think I'm okay with that. But, I do feel the need to understand a few things that I'm not yet ready to discuss fully on this site.

I will say that, the more I study and speak with others, the more normal Michael and this XXY condition seems. I'll expand . . .

I'm a member of several mail lists that are broken up into several categories - peds, adolescent, adult, etc. It seems that a lot of what the parent's of adolescents are concerned about are things that I've seen in Jacob (my XY son). So, things that are being blamed on the XXY condition are, in my experience, typical boy behaviors. This may sound strange, but I actually find comfort in this. I try to offer advice to those parents, but it tends to be ignored since I'm speaking of my XY son and not my XXY son. It's taught me a valuable lesson - that just because XXY is not fully understood by the medical profession, it does not mean that everything that comes out of the doctors' mouths is inaccurate. Yes, it's important to be viligant about Michael's health, but I no longer feel like we are on an island.

All of this studying and thinking leads to a lot of restless nights for me. I continually find new contacts and websites and join discussion boards in an attempt to learn more (yes, I'm the eternal student). One thing I came across today was another mother's story. The link to her story is here: http://www.intersexualite.org/Mother.html.

What I take away from her story is that we are not alone and that maybe understanding the why isn't as important as enjoying the today. I need to remember this.