I'm finding that the most difficult aspect of XXY is my own personal emotions and thoughts. On one hand, I feel like I need to learn every possible thing there is to learn and shout that knowledge from the roof tops. There's a big part of me that feels as if I've been called to help educate others about this very misunderstood chromosomal variation. When I see other parents that just got the news or watch some program on TV spouting completely incorrect information about XXY or KS, I want to grab a bullhorn and shout out the truth.

"Stay calm! There is no need to panic! Everything will be fine! Listen to me and I'll explain everything."

Then, there's that other part of me - I call it the selfish part - that gets so weary of the research and frustrated by the misinformation. It's times like this that I just want to grab Mikey up and build a brick wall around our home.

As a parent I struggle with finding the right balance. I feel that I have a responsibility to Mikey's future to educate so that his path will be easier. On the other hand, I have a responsibility to protect him from the bullies (kids and adults) that may treat him differently just because his chromosomes are different.

But hey . . . how many of us really know what our chromosomal make up is? Right? But I digress . . .

I guess when it comes right down to it, Mikey hasn't been changed by XXY, but I have. I certainly have a lot more empathy for the situations that others are going through, and I thank God every day that my biggest problem is an extra X here and there.

Hmmm . . . sometimes when I journal I can usually come to some sort of resolution, but not today. I still don't know what the right thing to do is. And, maybe I'm not supposed to know that right now.

I'm going to go play with my son.