I just got home from the hospital (10:00 p.m.). To say it has been a long day would be the world's biggest understatement.

We arrived at the hospital at noon and surgery began at 2:15. Prior to the surgery starting, Mikey was given some medication to make him sleepy. He was a sight to see - very loopy, eyes rolling, goofy grins, etc. He was fighting sleep so hard. He kept trying to play with us to stay awake. Finally, it was time to take him to the operating room. Vince carried him down the hall. The entire time Mikey was saying "weeeeeeeee." I guess with the meds he thought we were going really fast or somehting. It was so cute.

We sat him on the gurney and he couldn't even sit up. We laid him down and he was immediately fascinated with the nurse's bonnet. The only thing that grabbed his attention after that was the overhead lights. Vince, Mom and I watched him as he was wheeled into the operating room. 2:15.

After grabbing a bite to eat, the three of us started a very long wait in the waiting room. During that time we talked about how grateful that this would be the last of this. Sure, there could be complications that would result in another surgery, but we were faithful that, after today, the worst would be behind us.

At 5:30 we were called into the consultation room. It turns out that the first surgery was not a complete success. Or, maybe it was, but Mikey didn't heal correctly - we're not sure. The long and short of it is that Mikey's penis was crooked. This meant that the stage 2 hypospadias repair could not be done. Instead, Mikey's doctor had to re-do the first surgery. Since there wasn't any extra tissue to work with, they had to remove it from the inside of his left cheek. We get to try the stage 2 repair in another six months. That also means the surgery for his right testical is delayed another six months after that. Another year of this.

Because Mikey had tissue removed from his mouth, he had to be admitted to the hospital overnight. As I write this, my little guy is there now. Vince is with him since he has a stronger stomatch for these things.

When I held Mikey tonight it was obvious he was in pain - more from his mouth than anything. He also has a ton of blood pouring out of his mouth. I tell you, it was a tough thing to experience knowing there was nothing I could do but hold him and sing to him.

I'm so frustrated. I try to take this whole KS thing in stride and learn from it. I also try to keep perspective as things could be so much worse. When I see all those other parents in the waiting room waiting on their child to come out of much more serious surgeries, I'm grateful for the hand we've been dealt. But sometimes, like today, the entire thing just pisses me off. I mean, why does it have to be my son? Why does any of this happen to any children for that matter? Hospitals should be for having children or for sick adults. It's so hard to see innocent children going through these things. It's just not fair.

I know that life isn't fair. But it's hard to just shrug it off when it's your kid. If I could trade places with Mikey, I'd do it in a second.

Sorry this isn't more positive. I'm struggling with all of this right now and my emotions are raw. Maybe after a good night's sleep I can see the glass half full again. Right now I'm just trying to get throught the night knowing my little guy is not in the next room.